SHANG

2009-02-01T22:27:00.002+08:00

Just wanna thank those who wished me happy birthday.

1. DUCK
2. Livia Chua
3. Lee Hexun
4. Denise Ong
5. Ng Ching Siang
6. Perng Jia Wei
7. Lim Xinyi
8. Nicholas Tay
9. Tanya S. Anthony
10. Marcia Basuki
11. Liu Xiang Ting
12. Lim Qi Xuan
13. Aqila Aziz Alkaff
14. Madeline Chng
15. Koh Poh Sin
16. Chua Si Wei
17. Tay Yinxue (She claims she sent an sms to me, but I didn't receive. Oh wells)
18. All of 0831 pple who contributed to the cake! yupp yupp. Not alot of people this year but, I shall be glad at least people do remember.

THANKS!

2009-02-01T22:00:00.006+08:00

Today is a special day for both of us. ((:

We went to Seoul Garden and ate some hard beef. -.- that tasted totally gross. But the desert was nice! ((: I mean what can you expect from Seoul Garden man?

HAHA. Shan't blog much, let the photos do the talking.

The End. Happy~ ((:

2009-01-24T22:00:00.005+08:00

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

There’s no one that I hate so much, beside myself.

After living for almost 18 years, I’ve never ever achieved anything that made me proud of myself. Not even saying making my mum proud of me. Well, today I got back something that really stabbed into my soul. Okay that sounds reasonably wrong and I do not care, see. Anyway, I am disappointed, to put in simple terms. As usual, my hope has just vanished into thin air. I think that’s the reason why I am coughing, my lungs feel uncomfortable, and plus my two wisdom teeth are extracted, that makes me even more uncomfortable.

I really didn’t know what to do, when I got the envelope, I took it out slowly, and like I am peeping on somebody else’s results rather than mine. Well, when I was reading the comments for my first, it has good and bad points. Same goes for all the rest. But I had a gut feeling, that I am doomed. I am so dead. But, yes, I truly am DEAD. How disappointed and depressed and unhappy and angry. All the money and time, gone to waste. I have never ever felt like the whole world is coming down. And I am going to stop class, until after a levels. HA. How nice and ironic that the examiner commented that my dress code was professional. But what’s the use? I have nothing inside me, it’s just a fake, an outer covering. What’s the use?

I held back my tears, ‘cause my mum’s there. But when I went back, I cried. I cried like I never cried for a long time. Yes I have not cried for a long time. As in really cry because of something. Not just those ridiculous childish tantrum cries. Shakes my big stupid head. I seriously think that someone should screw my spoilt brain, I think the system has become corrupted. In other words, I need to see a counselor! ((: Do you think that I am mad now? Maybe that’s the reason for me not being so likeable? Or is it just because I am not friendly enough. HO! I do not know. But demoralized me is very very confused now. So how? What should I do? For the first time, I lost my direction in life. It had always been my forte. (Or maybe not, cos I am lousy.) and now I have nothing to be glad about. Nothing to look forward to every start of the school day. Nothing to bang about. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing in my life. I have lost you. When can I find you back?

I am sure. I WILL MISS YOU. I think this applies to every musician? I am not sure either. I am screwed and damned and doomed that everything, absolutely everything, is too late to say. But NOT DO. I can still do. With time AND HARDWORK. Not just roughly practise. I LACK PRACTISE.

So basically, I deserve it! Idiot. Just admit it man! You deserve it ZSY!

I feel empty. Without you.

2008-12-09T15:11:00.010+08:00

Yesterday was logistics shopping day! Phew! Finally can go out. And it’s it’s it’s with dear! Of course I’m very very excited. Haha. But it’s tiring. Nahs. It’s rather fun especially the last part.

1st Station! The namecards shop! But, because

it's a public holiday, so it's CLOSED. POUTS-

2nd Station! Chinatown to buy cloths.

-No photos-

3rd Station! Bras Basah Popular to get the

BOARDS, streamers, transparent paper. ((:

Stopped at bugis to eat lunch, but dear didn't

eat bf. Naughty girl. And we did accounts.

Look at her, so serious in doing accounts. She

didn't even realise i was taking her! HAHA!
CUTE. ((:

And I was bored. So there. Me.

4th Station! The gifts shops! ((:

Another angle.

((: party & gift!

The hat that we finally bought! ((: sweet!

HAHA! The guys have to wear pink ones!

Girls will wear this orange one.

5th Station! LAST! ((: Taka toys

department.

This is the sticker maker I was

talking about. It makes STICKERS!

Maybe instead of tattoos, we can cut costs by

buying this! CHEAPER!

The refill pack.

There we go again. ((:

OH!!!! EXCITING PART! We are queueing for

something! ((: or should I say for someone

really chubby and yellow!

Look at the people.

LOVES! <33

We went to Disneyland. In Singapore!

HEHE! So cute!

AGAIN!

And you know, when i went up on stage to take that photo with Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore, I was so nervous and when Pooh waved to me, I even waved back. Haha. Damn retarded can. Oh mann.

Logisitics shopping. Hmm! I wanna go again next time! ((:

2008-12-07T14:42:00.002+08:00

Shall upload photos of the banner-painting day on Friday 5 Dec 2008! ((:Although there’s not many photos here, and no photos of my face too! Cause these were not taken by me! Ha!

Councilers busy with the
Open House Banner! ((:
They are helpful people!

Left in clockwise direction:
Nictay, his friend((:, SiJin

Left in clockwise direction:
Auntie Teo, Denise (busy
posing with her trademark
finger pose), Sutsia

Them again. Pegasus Banner!

Mr. Griffin! Haha.

Oh! Phoenix Banner!
YAYY! That's me in
BLUE!

Denise taking photo of Auntie
Teo

Lastly, dear camwhoring with
Rachel! -.- with my cam some
more.

That's all for today. haha.

2008-12-02T01:15:00.002+08:00

Busy bah?
Haha. I bet so, exco is more important anyway. So many deadlines to meet. And you will not change so fast bah. It’s like I just told you the attention span, then you forgot again. Why.
Why can’t we have a time? And sit down to chat about everything? Ha… but I guess chatting will only mean me doing most of the talking. I bet so. Haha.

I just want to feel protected. But where? Sigh. And I really hate putting on a strong front. I wish i could just go into your arms and cry out loud. And tell you everything. Everything has been stuffed inside me. I can't keep them anymore. But, once I start talking I'll be angry... Oh fine...
Fading off…

yi xiang qing yuan ba...

2008-11-25T23:28:00.001+08:00

I am upset. Now. Immediately. Right now.

Upset.
Not because of my mum or whoever. But because this particular girl who ignored me. I’ve also not ignored her for so long before. While I am doing my stuffs now, I feel so helpless. I want to chat with her, but I have already told her that I’ll not chat with her. I will not take back my words. Therefore, my heart now feels very very suffocated. I can’t tell anyone how I feel. I realize that I can’t tell anyone except her. But, I can’t chat with her. She is ignoring me. I’ve never ever felt so upset in such a quick moment. Suddenly my whole heart felt as if it sank into the deep deep deep grounds. I’ve never cried until I am so sad. And I find no motivation to do exco stuffs anymore. No motivation. My motivation is upset and ignoring me. I am so scared.

I don’t want to be abandoned.
Alone.
I am scared. Can anyone help me?

I am afraid of the meeting tomorrow. I am worried that I will lose my way. My guide and guardian seems to be slowly disappearing. Where is she?
Where are YOU?

2008-11-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

Friendships.
Some people are not worth to remember, some are not. I am not trying to sound mean or anything. What I am trying to say is that I treasure every one of my friends who were once close. Some prefers to keep a distance from me after a while, and I am depressed.

Reasons for being so down: because I feel that this friendship has changed. We were once close, but now, we’re just hi-bye friends? Or at times, not acknowledging each other.

This post, is, dedicated for my friend, whom shall be unnamed. I hope you’re reading this, my friend. ((:

Well, I’ve known this friend for almost a year; since the beginning of this year. I won’t say that our friendship has been very close, but at least we hang out and go for lessons together.

As you know, I am not a very outgoing person and have bad social EQ. Haha. True! So as time passes by, we were kinda separated, because of the UNIQUE Singapore educational system. RAWR. My friend seems to be very comfortable and happy with her new friends. I am glad for her.

At first, we still acknowledge each other often and talk to each other. But just a few months back, I realised that we don’t say ‘Hi’ or wave anymore. I don’t know why, I thought, perhaps my friend did not see me or perhaps she just pretended to not see me. I did not take it so seriously at that time and walked off.

Now, as I self reflect, I can tell you friend, I have not done much as a friend. Maybe that’s the reason why you don’t want to approach me. Yes, I do have fault in this matter. Maybe I just dunno how to treasure my friends… hmmm, I can still remember, you bought me a gift when you went for holidays. I was really thankful that you still thought of me. Before we parted into different classes, you wrote me a post card to assure me that we’ll still stay in contact often even though our workload will be heavy. You also wrote that you hope that I will not be shocked if you suddenly write a letter to me. But until now, we’ve not, for once, really sat down and talk. Even if we do sit down and talk, I will feel awkward cos there’s not much to say except for our CCA. I don’t know why I will feel awkward also. Sigh. I don’t know about you. Maybe, to you, I am not as close to you as I thought you were to me. I really hope our bond does not just stop here. I just feel very wasted if we become strangers and not wave hi or chat randomly with each other anymore. Really really hope you are reading this now.

Really, I admit that I have not been doing much as a friend too. I am sorry, friend. But I can say that I have never forgotten anything you’ve done for me or did with me. ((: I also treasure this bond a lot. If not, I would not be so upset if you walk past me without saying HI. I really don’t know how you feel. Maybe you’ve forgotten me. Maybe to you, I seem very unfriendly like last time when I was said to be ‘hot and cold’ to you.

I hope you can understand my character. I am not very outgoing at times. If you prefer to stay as how we’re like now, I’ll respect your decision. Because, as I’ve said, I too has not been giving my all to this friendship and I hope I can do something to ‘save’ it. Haha. (((:

Now, seeing you with your friends, being happy in school, laughing, celebrating and going out with them, I am pleased to see that. Geee. Even if it is from a distance. Maybe our friendship will just end like that? Maybe it can be saved. But whatever you choose to do, I’ll respect your decision. Cos I do not want to disturb you or you friendships. Sometimes, I see you walking with your friends and talking to them so intently, I don’t dare to just walk up and surprise you. Maybe your reaction would just be nonchalant. Haha, I dunno lah. I’ll watch you from a distance and always remember the fun times we used to have. Those laughters, smiles and MY BIRTHDAY!! I’ll never forget how YOU and the rest arranged and planned for my birthday. Thanks, my friend. And, I miss you, friend. I do hope one day, we can go out again and have fun, just like how we used to do.

Readers: maybe I am a sensitive person. I am actually. Perhaps, all these are just trivial matters to you. But to me, I treasure friendships a lot. Hah! I’ll not forget you easily even if you forget me. Just like one of my close friends or used-to-be-close friend in secondary school. A lot has happened; maybe our bond’s not there already, but she’ll always have a special place in my heart. Gee. ((: I miss my friends. Gosh. I am so emotional that some dudes might think I am mad. Oh wells, that’s me.

Treasure your friends. ((: They’re the best gifts that God has given. Friends. Be there when you need them. Quality time with friends is important too, as quoted from my friend, Yinxue. (I miss Yinxue too) Do not take advantage on their good points like patience and tolerance, because one day they might leave you without you knowing why. Dudes! Treasure your friendships. Haha. I know you will, lalala~~~
Good-bye.
Phew, I feel so much better after blogging it out.
And oh! Eileen is so cool and I love her so much. Wahahahaha. XD
END

2008-11-11T23:11:00.001+08:00

TODAY IS 11/11/08.
Well this day is special because I officially own Eileen. Wahaha. Today is our first day. And eleven's dear's favourite number. Hah. so I've set today as the day. ((:

love YOU always
shangyu

2008-11-04T12:59:00.006+08:00

i am sick. -.- but ytd i still went for piano lessons and as usual, dear was waiting for me yeah!!!

and she's super nice ytd, but she's super odd too. keep laughing to herself and saying her bag's heavy and don't wanna show me or let me touch her bag. irritating. but later on i kinda guess there's something in her bag. wahahaha. she super funny can. made me so paranoid.

okay. what was in her bag?

tada!

this is the bag! YAYY! look at the msg. hehe.

another angle of the bag

hehe the flowers dear made for me... (((: so sweet

of her. Actually she made it when i was watching

Avenue Q on SUNDAY but i told her to bring in on

MONDAY. I thought she forgotten lah! BLUFF

me. -.- phew. hahahaha so funny. no wonder you

were laughing to yourself.

and because i was sick, dear got me these sweets.

i like the NIN JIOM one better. hehe. dun like

mint sweets, but this one cures my block nose.

(((:

and this is doraemon with eileen's flowers!

there you go. ((:

HOW CUTE. can imagine doraemon

as dear.

<3333

hehe.

2008-07-24T21:27:00.003+08:00

CAUTION: READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK

The story of you and people.

Today, when you and people were doing CCA stuffs, you felt really happy even though you and people were wet, hot and tired. And dirty. You didn’t mind at all. But when everything was carried up to the rooms, it was quite late. So you decided to check your phone. And yes, indeed, there were 11 missed calls. So you called your mummy and told her you were coming back soon. And then, it started raining (finally after so long). So you asked if people was going too or anybody, but they all say it’s raining, so they didn’t want to go. But you know that it should not be an excuse. So you decided to ask people if people was going, but to your disappointment (when you were already standing at the door), people said, “Huh… but it’s raining leh…” and showed no signs of moving. And you, you idiotic girl, asked people, “ Why? Why don’t people want to go?” And of course people don’t know how to answer you. And said, “Huh…?” Well, you jolly well walked off pissfully. And on the verge of bursting, and feeling nauseous.

Well, people went behind you and asked you to walk slower. And what a kind soul you are; what good attitude you have. You told people that you shall go first. (I know you didn’t say it willingly, and felt like crying). Wow, how pleasantly handled. Therefore, people and you didn’t talk through out the whole way. And you kept wondering why? Why did people not want to go… But people is so nice to you! And you still show this kind of attitude towards people, how could you??! Well, you crossed the road without saying bye to people (HOW RUDE) and walked in the rain to your bus stop. At the bus stop, you really felt very horrible and terrible and missed people so badly and like the rain, tears fell out of the already unbearable eyes. Hmmm, serve you right. (Do not, do not ever do things that you’ll regret!) and you don’t know why, you just felt very vexed and unhappy, right? You also don’t know if people’s angry or sad or what.

Sometimes, when you see people, it’s hard to know what people’s thinking, and you’ll feel very vexed but don’t know what to ask people. You are always trying to be happy around people, but everytime you see people being emo, or thinking about things, you’ll have the urge to ask about it. But most of the time when you ask about it, people will sometimes say “nothing lah”. And that disturbs you a lot, isn’t it? So you should just not ask it right? But people’s always so nice to you, and you (what do you do?) nothing! People walk you to the bus stop and you? Ever walk people to their bus stop? What is WRONG with you? WHY? Why always feel sad and emo and cry ‘cause of people? Be happy! Cheer up! People has done nothing wrong, so you should not be angry or always throw an attitude to people eh? People will get tired and sick of you eventually and just like how your old friend left you. Heartbroken eh? So, please, if you’re still humane or still have your brains up there (in your head), wake up!!! Look around and treasure your friendship with people! Don’t be like a kid man. Grow up!

I hope to see an improvement in your anger management in a few days time

Jiayou Shangyu!

This is just one part of you and people.

The above-mentioned story happened to a real you. Okay. “not making any sense”

2008-07-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

Today was not a horrible day after all, cause Eileen came today! But I was nearly late okay. But still managed to make it on time for flag raising. But since I didn’t see Eileen at first, then okay lor, pretend, but when I turned back I saw Eileen! Haha, I feel happy. Anyways, I turned back immediately lor, then nictay ah, and syahidah, ask me to turn behind, then I refused to, cause I already saw. Then I didn’t even turn to look at Eileen throughout the whole assembly. Cause I shy. Haha (no lah, I was just, aiya dunno) dun like to look bah.

Okay, so went off for my first period which is econs tutorial, and I did only abit. So abit stressed lah, I flunked mye by the way. Then math lec. People take our class’ seats so we had to go infront to sit. We were just sitting behind shirlynn’s class lor. Aiyo, terrible sight. And then after that only have half an hour’s break, so I only ate bread and milo. The horfun looks so nice lor, but too ex, I must try tmr!!! Must. Hahas.

Okay, CSC lesson. Went in when it’s already very full liao, then didn’t get to sit beside Eileen lah. )): makes me even more –choking feeling– dunno how to describe lah. Anyway, I sat beside jiu shi shuo. She damn funny can. Haha, oh I am supposed to be pairing up with her for the CSC project thing. Anyway, throughout the whole CSC lesson, wah, I was really stressed and kept looking at the clock then at my watch. Waiting for it to end. I feel stupid during every CSC lessons. OH MY GOSH! Help me! Someone! Anyone? No one.. aiya. How! I think I will flunk CSC again. Sucks lah. Oh, cheng long, haha, he also very funny. Kept asking me questions, like going for interview. Haha. And xiao tong and him bickering and I am sitting in the middle, so aiyoo… then after the CSC lesson, gave the Doraemon to Eileen! But she like not very happy. ))): upset lah, dunno.

After that during CT, I was quite restless.

“I really don’t know what is on your mind sometimes, and I just don’t know how to get that choking feeling out…”

then I keep aiya, aiyo, then also not thinking about what teacher asked us to do. And yinxue was supposed to tell me smth during math, but we didn’t sit tgt, so I went to her. And as usual I always stick my head very near people’s faces mah, then she kissed me lah. –lost for words- oh man. Haha.

Got back lit results. Sucks lah. Darn it. But funny part was that yinxue got a point five mark for her essay! Lit essay with point five mark. Diao. Mrs teo really very cute can. Haha. Everyone’s depressed. Hmmm. Wonder what’s Eileen doing now. Hahas. Random. Oh, then I lost my pooh badge!! ))): sad sad sad! I am on the verge of crying liao. Gosh. Where’d I lose it man. Sucks sucks. The pooh badge is so precious leh! Given by Eileen. Precious! And I lost it. ))): -WHINES!! Then I was like shouting I lost my pooh badge and qi xuan heard it as smth else and she violated me. =.= like totally turned off can.

TALE OF TWO CEDARIANS ATTACKING ONE CEDARIAN. Headlines man. Haha.

The rest are not much lah. Went to eat with Eileen, then went home.

“ There is always this urge. That I cannot describe it. I really don’t know how to pt it in words. When I see you, my heart aches. But sometimes, I am just so angry that I am not exactly angry at you. I do not know what I am angry at. Just angry. But it dies down. After we part, I will have this feeling of something’s missing. What is it? What? I really don’t know. I have an urge to cry. But I can’t. Stuck. Choked. I just miss you. Every moments.”

Fullstop.

2008-07-11T01:41:00.001+08:00

wahahaha, i can believe that i am actually blogging now. as in, i abandoned my blog for quite some time. i am just bored and seeing eileen having a blog, hmmm, well, anyway i am doing LTC camp reflecctions gosh, havent finish. DIE! alrights. gonna be a short one, gtg now! byee.

SHANGYU (((:

2007-09-12T14:16:00.000+08:00

When There Was Me and You

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

go check this song out for those who doesn't know

it's from a musical.

2007-09-05T13:42:00.001+08:00

Will you come back?

i can't forget it just like that.
'cause life isn't just as easy as you think.
maybe for my life.
but i am glad for you.

if you know why,
the reason is too obvious.
and i am here crying out to you,
can you hear me?

one fine day,
i'm gonna leave this place,
this place where love doesn't exist.
it doesn't.

if you know why,
the reason is too obvious.
and i am here crying out to you,
can you hear me?

maybe, if i leave this place,
i'll forget about you.
for now, i can't let go.
and the pain is tourturing me.

will you, will you help me?
will you, will you tell me what to do?
will you, can you understand me?
will you, please you, come back to me.

if you know why,
the reason is too obvious.
and i am here crying out to you,
can you hear me?

everything is nothing.
everything is back to square one.
no more love, no more happiness.
no more you.

will you come back to me?

this is a song. some random song. Gah.

2007-09-05T13:29:00.000+08:00

sorry

sorry about the previous emo post, guys. hope that didn't scare you guys. i'm supposed to be studying now. but just checking my mail and got slightly distracted to blog. i'm so in love with the korean songs. especially during a period of torture and suffering now. it's best to listen to these songs. i agree. i am so stress and everyone is. but i don't want to study now. i want to buy books, borrow books get all the interior design mags and cut out all those pretty houses and paste them in my little orange sketch book.

lovely.
but, now all i can do is reading my textbooks, havn't finish on geog, ss and phy. well, not saying i've done the others, but just concentrating on these three. i bet no one's online reading blogs now, except me. just another random blog.

monday. monday will be a special day. you-know-why. because it's one day before 911 anniversary, and because it's our ss prelims day. important! and... well i am at a loss about what to say. should i say (this part is kept to myself).

i spent three to four hours ...

on monday night, from 9.30pm all the way to 12.30am i think. i finally finished it. Gah.
i suddenly fell in love with winter sonata again. because of the songs. music influences me greatly. i promise i'll watch the drama after o levels.

bye.

this is the real me, behind this mask.

2007-08-06T18:47:00.000+08:00

how many days have it been? let me count, ever since that wednesday. 18 july. how has your life been? good? of course, it is good. finally you can get rid of her. yes. feels relaxed and happy and relieved. i know how you feel. you told me. yes you told me through your actions.

sometimes i just feel so upset that i can die.

now you don't have to come to school to just do what you're not supposed to do and you simply dislike doing it what you've long ago wanted to stop doing. well, nobody asked you to do it. so why? she's given you up, but she can't forget about the times you guys shared together. she told me all the fun and wonderful times you all have shared together, and she always goes home crying and has nobody to talk to, and how she doesn't understand you. but you didn't know how upset she was right?

you don't, do you.

so what did she do? she tried her very best to let go. really let go, but in the end, she couldn't let go. and who got hurt? she got hurt.

do you know the feeling of getting hurt? if you do, then you know what you should do.

oh, yea, she also told me about various times, she wrote to you, and then, she didn't get any reply. because when someone writes to you, they expect a reply. but she didn't get one! oh golly gosh. hahaha. she still can laugh leh! i mean, don't you feel sad!

went to the shop together. planned to go to the same school. went for so many things. she was really happy. glad. contented. sense of accomplishment. er.. nono. delete that. ~~sense of accomplishment~~. so, you are implying that all this while she's always been on her own wishful thinking? oh? are you sure? then why did you let her like you and befriend with you. why did you act like a nice and friendly person when deep within, you don't like her. why? no wonder you're tired. since you dislike her so much, why ry to please her? doesn't deserve it. you shouldn't have done that in the first place.

no idea who i am talking about? why not think again.

perhaps, it's you. yes.

now fare thee well.
remember you promised to write her something after MYEs? she still remembers, do you?

2007-07-01T17:38:00.000+08:00

youth day

so today's youth day. tomorrow is a holiday! whooohooos. yesterday, went for the lit thing and MOST people went. rather than all. mhm. what am i supposed to blog. gahs. i have no time to blog lah. hurhur. havent finish homework and there will be tests after tests next week. oh bugger. oh sorry, it became influenced by terry. seriously. people likes to hide masks. in real life too! yay. i like to hide behind a mask too! but sometimes people are too much, they don't know! oh wooosh, too much exclaimation marks is bad for health. yes, i agree to a large extent. oh no, no extent. sorry sorry, again. yes, i agree (fullstop).

and then...

~~have i done too much perhaps? too much? or have i done nothing? isit isit? actually in actual fact, i've actually done nothing right? to you maybe. afterall, she's more important to than me.~~

erm, readers can ignore the paragraph above because typer is mentally unstable during that moment. sorry for any incovenience caused.

here's a funny dialogue.
"I'm the Count de Nobbs," it said, "and this here," it added, indicating a mobile wall, "is the Count de Tritus."
Nanny glanced at the troll. "Another Count? I'm sure there's unaccountantly more Counts here than I can count. ...blah..."

hehe. she is crazy. don't worry, i am perfectly sane. hi.

2007-06-24T18:31:00.000+08:00

wossname wossname wossname.

ah, this shall be a random wossname post. as you can see, i am crazy over wossname. sorry if took anybody's words/lines. so sorry. because wossname is said by the parrot and granny and anyone else, mhm, not really but just her. wossname wossname. bleh. school's starting tomorrow. i have no idea how i am supposed to wake up and walk to the bus stop. i shall walk to the bus stop with my eyes closed and wossname on the bus. and then alight the bus walk to school with my eyes closed and go to class if i am early which is usually not the case. ha. or isit the case? whichever. gah. i am going crazy soon. need a pill to control my craziness. ha. what am i talking? eh? sorry ah, i am very wossname now. still haven't finish with my red textbook.

borrowed two, er, i meant three jimmy books, and three tp books. argh. all harper's. so cheapskate. quite a number of corgi there but not those i want to read. jimmy's books are interesting. yeah. his books are unique and he is still not satisfied. what's wrong with him. okayokay, sorry, something's wrong with me. sorry.
:(

oh, talking about the DSA, that night, i dreamt of weird dreams. i dreamt that that obeo guy was in my house, my room, playing the obeo. i ask him to play for me some piece and he just refuse to play. argh. i got fed up and my phone rang or some wossname urged me to go down. i went down and saw six stray dogs. because there're quite a number of stray dogs at that vicinity, and i dreamt of six dogs of that kind. scary. maybe it's because of the auditions. there was six people sitting infront of me. gash. oh my wooshbly word. yes. so i guess my blog will die during a certain period of time like from now onwards.

2007-06-19T16:52:00.000+08:00

DSA

let's talk about yesterday's horrible day.
in the morning we had to go back to school for geog lessons so i had to postpone my dsa to 5.20pm. that's very late. so we had geog. until 12.30pm went home to take all the necessary things and my husband 545505 and met mummy at mos burger at PS to have lunch. went for piano after that until 4pm. mhm. okay that's not the main point! the main point is that me and mummy took mrt to eunos and i thought there was 196, but there wasn't. so i disappointed mummy again. i am so flustered. sweating.. er.. i meant perspiring. yeah. so, i am not too sure about 13, called bro and she said i can take 13. took 13, it started raining!!! oh no. then the bus was so crowded. and i was carry my dear and two big bags of bedsheets and quilt cover. oh no, now i am muscle aching. ha. i don't know which stop to alight. so asked the bus driver, everything was so complicated. then my phone rang. GAH. the vj person called, asking me where i was.
on the bus.
it's raining, do you need an umbrella?
oh, i have one.
blahblehblohgosh.
ok, fast forwarded. alighted the bus. rain was so heavy, therefore, mummy asked me to go first with my green umbrella because it's too small for two in such a heavy rain. so i went, mummy will catch up with me when it's not really raining. then i went up the over head bridge with jelly like legs. yes, i am afraid of heights. then i couldn't find the damn gate. walked all the way to a park. started to panic, called mummy and she said she's coming, then i rushed all the way back and the gate was at the other side. ha. i am so confused. went into the school, saw this obeo guy walking out. guess he was here for auditions too, he smile at me and i was like do i know you? confused again.

went to the GO and thank goodness for the aircon. handed up the hard copy and my phone rang again. vj person called and asked me where i was. i am in VJ lah. oh no, i didn't say that. but you get the meaning, yeah. went to the canteen, felt very overwhelming. all the JC dudes hanging around there. guess who i saw? i saw ex cedarians. maam JY. yeah i saw her. oh no i was quite flustered already. so more flustered. was asked to fill in a form then went to the tuning room. was so embarrased. felt kinda amatuer. i am amatuer. anyway, was asked to warm up for only 5 mins. mhm. five minutes seemed long. and my high A is always giving me trouble.

done with warmup, walked back to the band room which is in the canteen, saw the ex cedarian, she pretended not to see me. mhm well. went into the band room. woots. great. six human beings, one panel, 2 students, 4 teachers. total = fear from me. oh no, i thought, what am i going to do? am i supposed to play me 545505 now? or just dig a hole or run out of the room? i chose the first one. so i played.
blahblehblohgoofloosh*squeak*hegaglowoshooe*squeak**squeak**more squeaks*. okay can i go to the next piece?
alright.
*turning pages*
bongongglowooshingeelbohdodudalfk*sqqqqqueakk*wooshedoshdongbong*squeaks**high a**squeaks**more and more squeaks*. ok, phew done.
we'll like you to do some sight-reading, play from section A to C. you have one minute to prepare.
okay, alright, saw the score, maskerade for the band. mhm, kinda easy. started. mhm. *fine music being played without any squeaks*. ok done. no scales?
we'll like to give you an appreciation letter, we give this letter to everyone of our auditors to show our appreciation for making your way here.
mhm. a letter.
went to the tuning room, pack everything and went back to GO, found mummy and went to the bus stop. mummy has to go meet someone at bugis. gah. and then, board the bus. went home.
the story continues, but that's not the main point anyway. so that's the end.
how i feel? bad, disappointed of course. that's just not me. i didn't play my fullest. miss band. i miss band. seriously, so i have to mug my guts out. VJC is so far from me(both distance and abilities).

GOOSH, i am dead. flat dead. ha.

2007-04-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

blog

okay so i shall blog, but i doubt anyone will read. nowadays i feel so EMO. and often have moodswings. on monday i cried on the way to piano. then i think i am so irritating that i am irritated by myself. i cry so easily and i get so stressed. so tensed for God-knows-what reason. i think some of my juniors don't like me! okay nevermind, i know i am not likeable. argh what am i talking about! when did i become so paranoid? argh. PMS is bad you know. i like to sleep. i can forget all my troubles and have fun dreams. haha. but you see, i hate to wake up. sometimes i just wish i can stone at home and listen to MCR! i am listening now! for your info, i love MCR okay! you think only tanya like isit. nono. we share. but i am sure tanya will not want to but anyway, i have no idea why samantha and marcia keep saying that i am CUTE!? i am not okay! i am.. well, weird. yes, i think many agree right. i think i should talk less, just sit there like a statue and during sectionals i shouldn't say anything. i think i have no authority. sometimes, i think some juniors think i am talking crap. argh, i am paranoid k?! why har? i should change. i shouldn't be so talkative and i shall not be hyper.

i am supposed to study for EMATHS! oh no! i got full marks for my physics test. are you happy? 'cause i am. i rock, i know that, thankyou. i feel so sad all of a sudden. maybe because of many things. my O levels, then my family, and band and friends. and the class. well, is it so hard to fit in? why do i care? can't i just let it go and not care? my mum don't allow me to go online and blog. and now i am so stressed. i just shouted at my mum. and now i am pissed off with myself. i want to murder people. oh no, God, help me.

everyday, i would go home with aqila, sometimes, i am super high, but i know i shouldn't be. there's nothing for me to be happy about. when i think too much, it disturbs me. i have no one to talk to really. because everyone has their own problems. so i can't possibly tell them my problems and expect them to think that my problem is so important. so what do i do? i keep all to myself. one day, (like now) i will burst. i will explode. for all the things i've done, they were never appreciated. what for do them? i will only look like an idiot. on monday, i experienced how's it like to commit suicide. i was walking along the pp way and then this lorry or truck zoomed past me. the vehicle was only about 5cm from me. it could have just knock me down or something. then i got a shock of my life. i realised how afraid i am, to die.

i feel so emo. grrrrrr. no i must be happy, i must bring happiness to my friends especially my fellow DMTers. ha. i hope our friendship will last forever forever forever and forever. but everytime i feel so super high, i feel so fake, like when i am alone, i'll think that i am actually not that high. grrr, i am hungry. sight of people makes me feel sad. why can't live without worries? i want to be free.

whoever, whatever. hello, goodbye.

screwed ; and nut

2007-03-16T18:29:00.000+08:00

whooooo! i went wild wild wet today! yay. now i am back with a headache and my feet bled. i scraped my feet and it bled. yucky yucky yucks. and brother is a screw and i am a nut. whatever. i think brother is crazy, she's mad and i don't know what's wrong with her. whoo, i still got my WWW chop my my hand wahahahaha. brother, you tag so little only and i need to ask you amaths questions. OUCH. i think swimming pools are dirty, disgusting and gross. it has H2O mainly and children's pee, saliva, sweat, blood and God-knows-what. yucks. and me and dearyjunior are discussing on why brother is so different this year. she is mad. must be mad. brother, if you read this post, please respond, be yourself. your change has not brought happiness within us but troubles everynow and then. haha. what am i saying. and please stop having weird dreams.it's freaking US out. ooohh, quan, ruixi, quan, ruixi.

SY1 is QUAN ;
SY2 is RUIXI

brudder, if you carry on to be like that, i don't friend you le. i don't want to bother about you anymore. anyway, even if i bother, it wil not be appreciated. MR ADAMS is so pro. and his accent is wooooohoooo. ha. stop being like that. it's very unfair. don't be so troubled. okay, i don't want to care about you liao. even if i don't care about you, you won't care either, so why bother. don't turn to the left, it could be YANG.

i love pingnpong. i heard yesterday on radio.
well ping was talking, "okay okay, where?".
then pong came and said, " ping..."
"okay let's meet tonight"
"ping..."
"yes, pong?"
"ping, why you talking to yourself?"
"no lah, i am trying out my new bluetooth."
and pong said, " oh. then you have to go see a dentist."

i seriously think that i should go lead a carefree life. don't care about people in class, don't care about tight friendships, don't care about those people who always pang-seh me when they are with a more 'favourable' friend, don't care about what outsiders say, don't care about my brudder, don't care about what people think of me. i should only change myself because of myself not like because of YOU. so you think i like to hang around with you guys? do you think i had a choice? do you think i get to choose who to be my classmates? have you ever wondered if those rumours are true? well, personally i don't care, but since YOU want to make it so big and spread untrue rumours about me, suit yourself. it will just reflect on how polite and sensitive you are. talking behind people's back, laughing at them. what's there a big deal if a person is not dressed like you, have the same hairstyle as you, have the same kind of bag, same type of attire? i am so sorry if not everyone is like you because the world doesn't revolve around you, but you have no reasons to hate them or laugh at them, or backstab them.

CHEAP-

2007-03-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

and oh, i wanna add.

i love FALLOUTBOY!
and Good Charlotte's KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY GIRL!

sawloser. opps. i think MISTER yang is mean. he fake headache when he heard LONG DISTANCE PHONE CALL by them. well, FYI, they are our very own local band. yes, the sawloser. okay do i sound like a DJ??? right, i don't.

MCR still rocks. and i have to start mugging! my mummy scolded me for blogging again! eeyur. mummy, why u so mean, say blogging is boring.
she thinks i am bored of life so i've got nothing better to do and blog. actually, it'a quite true.

i am a good boy today. i thrown you guys THREE posts. so you guys better love me back, treat me well, what's next, uhhuh, sponser me food! woohhooo. well.

I like, when you sleep, when you sleep next to me.

woohoo, don't get the wrong idea people.

you don't know how hard it is to like someone secretly.

2007-03-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

well my previous posts are emo. as usual. nothing can cheer me up except...nobody understands. right. you do? oh really.

A always looking at B when talking to us
when I tried to say somehing, either nobody listens or heard, or they just ignore it
In _ _ _ _ _, always laughing, talking, but when i'm there, you don't seem to really like my prescence, so must as well just scam.
Joined the same _______ _________.(well i don't know why i am being so childish again)
Singing together, not with me anymore. A only asked B to sing ___ songs with her, it's like why must you like them? All of a sudden, it's like BLOOP, you came into my life. Made me so mad and crazy.
Don't you see? Our B _ _ _ _ _ _ H _ _ _ seemed to fade away. SUDDENLY, isit that you don't like something about me? Must be.
Well, there are so many other things i can list here, but if i write it out in words, some might not like it. but you know it. eg. are like during eating of the cake, during the reading period TITOUDAO play briefing, blah blah and today too.
yeah yeah, [insert your name here]'s yours, you can have [insert name again] all to yourself.
All that you guys know about ___, i don't. You have no idea how much i feel that i shouldn't be here. it will only be like kinda like a third party eh? so shall i fade away or not. i'll feel lonely when i already feel it now.
B, you can don't reply me and you think i don't mind. well, you always assume that i am very strong? no i am not, indeed.
See? the whole world seem to go against me or something. even my own _ _ _ _ _ _ _ are like that
but it must be S*tan who want me to think that all my _ _ _ _ _ _ _ hate me. (*=A)
well, what if i die? i think even if i die, nobody cares, ooh except my family la, unless they dont't too. what life worth living for? life simply sucks.
God, why did you make us suffer? i have SINNED, but can You save my from my hell-like-life?
How can i not ignore you, when you seem to ignore me?

to be continued --------------------------------------------------------------

the end, babe. more hot news coming up next if you want to know more. too bad.

2007-03-12T20:17:00.000+08:00

right, now i think that i am a really boring and irritaing person(isn't it? yes you are), noticed how much my friends, my bandmates, my classmates, my teachers, my conductors, the whole world HATE me. easy. they all hate me, i hate them all too. you want it, you get it, right.
well, i am simply such a loner, everywhere. i think you are a third party really. well, just suddenly you appeared in my life and BOOOSH, my life has been disrupted. yes. i just didn't really care during the first days of school this year, cause i was not in the mood to think. and just suddenly everything changed. don't you see? well, you don't see. i go home thinking that i will get better the next day and when i start to think of all those things(i can list a thousand things, thank you very much), i will start to tear, weep and then burst out crying. i feel really upset this year, don't you notice? I WAS ALOT MORE HAPPIER LAST YEAR. right. ooh i didn't notice the CAPS. well, leave it there then. i don't know what to say to you, but what i can do is just to keep all this to myself, when i am all alon then i can let it all out, without you knowing it. it'll be so great if i live all by myself. i can scream, shout, cry or do whatever i want.

i want to type some songs. although some are by 'not nice bands' and singers, opps, but it's really how i feel loh.

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explainwhat happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

----------------------------------------------------

Now it seems to me that you know just what to say
But words are only words, can you show me something else?
Can you swear to me, that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel, more than every baby

I don't wanna be lonely no more,
I don't wanna have to pay for this,
I don't wanna know the lover at my door,
Its just another heartache on my list
I dn't wanna be angry no more,
But you know I could never stand for this,
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,
I don't wanna be lonely anymore

Now it's hard for me, when my heart still on the mend,
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
Can you sing to me, and it's harmony, girl what you do to me is everything,
Make me say anything, just to get you back again, why can't we just try?

What if I was good to you? What if you were good to me?
What if I could hold you 'til I feel you move inside of me?
What if it was paradise? And what if we were symphonies?
What if I gave all my life, to find some way to stand beside you?

I don't wanna be lonely no more,
I don't wanna have to pay for this,
I don't wanna know the lover at my door,
Its just another heartache on my list
I dn't wanna be angry no more,
But you know I could never stand for this,
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,
I don't wanna be lonely anymore

I don't wanna be lonely anymore
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't, I don't, I know, I know,
I don't want to be lonely anymore

----------------------------------------------------
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold (didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl (tell me)
Okay I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this drag on so long (i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games (silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors

That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way doesn't make sense to me now that your gone (I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face

That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Those simple words hit so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

2007-03-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

urghhh. i am so darn lazy. i refused to blog. but because some specific person asked me to. even if i want to blog during the past few days, my mum won't allow and my com crashed yesterday. sorry bro, i couldn't go online yesterday.

anyway, let me start on the 1st day of them having OAC. the DMTs went out, but it was raining! gosh. first 'date' and it rained. i still wonder how did me and bro managed to fit under that small little green umbrella. (shivers) my hands are cold from typing okay! okay, back to the trip. we went to MACs to eat lunch and bro bit her tongue! and DMT #1 was like if you bite your tongue, that means someone is thinking about you. whooooo~~ then she bit her lip, then i said if you bite your lip that means you are thinking about someone. haha! so funny. i think hambuglar in pp macs looks like young mr ong, i couldn't stop laughing. opps, i am laughing now. then that night i dreamt of vanessa lee. she smsed me and i wondered what the hell? how come she can sms during OAC. then she said something... i forgot, but something that they leave OAC or whatsoever. then i asked her if she bit her tongue, she said yes, once during lunch. haha. that means bro was thinking abt her. but that was only a dream.
then at the 2nd night of their OAC, i dreamt of paulina chatting with me. i was like how come she can chat during OAC one. then she told me that they have this special room for leisure whereby they can go into chatrooms blah blah, and in that dream the building of the chatrooms look like a school campus and i've seen it before in my oter dreams, freaky eh? then i saw that i have braces. i can even feel the braces in my mouth lor. then it's black. i had ulcers in my dream.
they came back from OAC! argh. so sad. then yesterday night, i dreamt of us having band on tuesday. Ms sia came, then i saw Mr ong coming in from hospital with bandage all over his body. like a mummy, then drags and pieces were like coming off. he then sat on the piano stool. haha. it was a hilarious sight. you wish you were in my dream. haha. then i noticed that the band room was some sort different, like a new and bigger band room. ha. and i heard the trumpets and trombones and percussion playing romeo and juliet i turned and saw brother at the percussion area! she's a drummer! but i also remember seeing a figure sitting at her bassoon place, i thought it was her, but she's at the snare drum there. we didn't know each other in my dream, it was like i looked at her, she looked at me, then i just listening to the music and looking at her, she also staring back at me. funny sight. then her eyes were so big. then i looked at vanessa when the leaders were dismissing us, i remembered that i forgot to ask her abt her bruised leg (how odd: REMEMBER then FORGOT). i also saw my primary school mates! and jamima. ha! her hair. so funny! shall not laugh, later she in my section how? i also saw aqila in my dream! she was pissed with me why i didn't sms her on the day they came back from OAC. i was like aiya i busy mah.

ouch, bro rmb i kick my feet on the com table? there's bruise black. ouch.

2007-02-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

what has happened? oh my. what happened to me? why do i think this way? no no i cannot think too much. it's never gonna happen. it's not possible anyway. i don't know about her. she didn't specify! i am so worried and paranoid.
God, help me. why is this happening? this is so not right. it is not right in the first place. this as been happening to me since (let me think...) sec 2. and i thought it would not happen again! but it did again. it is not possible. why? what did she do? nothing. all she did was... i don't know and don't want to know! it is really not right. i won't dare to face her now. so yucks! yucks. disgusting. gross. how can you let this happen to me? i know it's not your fault, it's mine. really. during sec 2 it is also my fault. and i kept all those to myself. i know that person somehow knew. i don't know how to describe. and sec 3. again. i did the same thing again. but it's not same person. damn it. and she knew like duh. oh please. help me get rid ofthis thought! argh. yucks. MCR! i love you. i need mt bed now. tmr going to TKGS. i think they are nice people.

but still tmr. i see her almost everyday.

2007-02-23T21:26:00.000+08:00

i love to dao you. hehe bro.

i shall post this here for you lor.

I understand, everything
All that's on your mind.
But, why? Why did you not show your feelings
And chose to hide behind?

Behind all those tears,
Covering up your fears.
All the while, you've been beside me,
With yor tiny and weak heart, weeping.

Can you not see?
There is a bright light before you,
Leading you out of darkness,
Back to where you'd harness.

When you're back,
Your heart filled with peace and serenity.
Here, thre'll be no screams and shouts,
That had been gunshots to your ears.

Now that you're back here,
Do forget those dark times.
For what you've seen and heard,
Will remain as a dream. Forever.
-retardprince

hehe. i know it's lame la. that's what i always say ya know. ber said it's quite emo! lol. and yinxue said she feels a great impact when she read this, but the one that they read was before editing. but overall it's still the same. no worries.

Carrie: C is for chocolate
Grandfather: D iz for zchocolate
Carrie: C
Grandfather: D ar
Carrie: C! [giggles]
Grandfather: D la. zhe yang lao le hai chi zchocolate. haiya.( Translation: so old still eat zchocolate)

super cute. listen to 98.7 FM!
dan and yang.

2007-02-18T19:14:00.000+08:00

when i look at you guys. especially your tags and your frequent sayings i want grandpa i nd grandpa. i would sigh to myself, "stop being childish". i would think, has our friendship faded throughout the years? i really think and think. i just don't understand. do you know why i choose to sit with aqila on the bus? because i feel that she understands me better, i feel appreciate when i am with her. she gives me a warmth feeling. i felt the same way with you a few years back, but not now. i don't understand what is the reason. isit, because of me? or you? i really want to talk to you about this, but i guess you'll shoo me off again, saying that i am so troublesome, that is the feeling you always give me. i feel that you always seem happier with others and i can't understand why. sighx. i feel so tired and stressed when i keep getting upset over these matters. then i'll feel guilty that i can't make you people happy and the others can. haix. i know that not everyone like to see my face and be expected to smile and be happy, but as least tell me. not like keep me in the dark. yups. that's really my true feelings. i guess i can't talk to you in person, so i type in my blog, hope you'll understand my side of story now. sighz, i guess i can only sigh and talk to myself now, now that idiotic me had drive everyone away. "serve you right, you bossy sensitive little thing."

i don't want no more misunderstandings.
i just want true friends if that's what you call it.
being there for each other.

sorry once again, f i've hurt you more then once in the past. tahnks for all that you've done in the past -- being middlemen for so many of my friends.

sorry and thanks
:l

2007-02-18T18:23:00.000+08:00

for once, i did not twist your words. and i did not run to my LITTLE friends to act pathetic. they are not little. at least they understands me. i totally agree that they don't understand your side of story, totally, yes. so now, you too doesn't understand some parts of my story. so now it is that we both can't understand each other's side of story and plus! you were insensitive, agree on that. and for me, i was insensitive too, you know for sure! why do i always turn to these juniors of mine, you may ask. i want to turn to you too, but the feeling you give me is like before i can say anything i'll feel the rejection. because you simply don't listen. and at least livia and aqila, they do listen, give me advice. you give advice too, but the next time i want to talk to you, i'll feel very unwelcome. and for once, i told them the truth and never twist your words. you also don't see it here do you? and i don't see your side so it is 50:50. so now, i am not begging, kneeling down before you to make up with you, but just for your info, i don't like disputes. so whether we want to continue this friendship or just stop it here and get done with this childish little thing. yes, i am childish at times. i know that. that is my weak point, but that doesn't mean you don't have weak points. now, i need to tell you the truth. from young, i had NO childhood. no sympathy here please. the reason was, i was always locked up in my house alone, my parents going to work. i didn't know what the world was like to me. and from primary 4 we shift house and that was when i began to meet some new friends and all. i was like now still this not very sociable girl. so from young my mum was very protective of me and made me feel as if i was still a little baby. right. and until now, i have this little brother, then that made me realised that i am this big sister, 15 yrs apart. i have to be independent. i tried to changed, to suit the everchanging circle of friends. i've changed. but maybe like you said, i am still so immature. well, that's for me. i've opened up my heart, my inner self, told you my side of story. and i don't understand you, that means you are saying that you can't tolerate this anymore, you've put up with me for so long, why not tell m earlier and not until now? yes, i am sensitive, i cry at every single thing. and you think i am blowing it up. right. i am so sensitive that i can manage to spot things that no one else can. alright. i've been brought up like that, i had not much friends in primary school, and you were once popular isn't it? i have not much confidence. everyone has low self esteem, yes. that's not surprising. right, so i complain about very slight little things. and you? middleman for me and GV, me and baohui, me and sweejin(err.. actually it's for swejin and me. u should complain to her if you are not happy). is that a problem? so yeah, helping your friends make peace with another friend is such a burden for you? no? you've asked me to help you choose your shirt size, yea that's a small thing again right? so why ask me? sometimes, little things i've helped you, u've all forgotten, or have you not. if not, you always prefer sj or other people. yea so she is amusing, yes. but me, i am boring. yes not enough to entertain you. so must every friend of yours be entertaining and then you'll be their friend? think about that. yea, i agree that you have the right to talk with people, laugh and have fun with people who are not me, yes. yea yea, i don't know. yea yea.

so much for sitting together last year. so much for this 3 and a half years friendship. people always say when they have gone through thick and thin together, they'll get to know each other better. you must be pretty pissed off right now. i was quite pissed when i read your blog too. but i read it a second time, i tried to stand in your shoes and think. yes, maybe shangyu was really childish afterall. but sometimes, you are insensitive(truth it is), like going to sj when i am sitting here. if i were you, i would have asked you, "do you want to join us to sit there?" just forget about the past, i hope. i mean those bad times. i still remember during sec 2, we meet up early in the morning to prepare for SYF, i remember you coming to my class after school to get changed and go for band. have you forgotten how we signed up together for the job attachment? how we want to go to JC together? now, my friend, have you forgotten? maybe now you'll regret what you've said(like being my true friend and going to JC, blah blah). but i never will. i had always thought that you forgot about those good times, tell me that i'm wrong.

"let me ask you, do you regret knowing me as a friend?" my answer for that is no, i don't regret knowing you as a friend. you've taught me alot in the past years, like how to treasure a present given to me, and how to speak proper english, although i still suck, and how to love MCR. i have not forgotten. but i can't believe that you wrote those harsh words in your blog. harsh like getting really sick and pissed off with me la. i am very paranoid with people, yes. when they look at me and talk, i'll be kinda paranoid. and sometimes, it is true that they are talking about me. well maybe because they never seem to look in your way when talking about your back. yea. or you just don't care. i don't really care much, although i know that i am still very irritating to tell you every single thing, you see, i have no one to talk to at home(i mean pple about the same age). poot.

after careful thoughts, i don't regret blowing this matter up. it can mke me learn something new like how to handle friendships in the future. i just want to apologise to you. yes you. apologise for all those unneccessary misunderstandings in the past. i know it's not right for me to say about you here, but i think we are both stubborn people. if i don't make the first step, nobody will. when you have read until here, you'll probably think that i am rather childish, blowing things up and wanting to make peace again, just like i always do. but just not to make us each awkward(probably you won't care :l ), i really apologise to you. you can call me a loser or whatsoever. but that's what i have to say now.

i don't accept your forgiveness.
but i have to apologise for my wrongdoings, that's part of life.

sorry, tanya.
it's all up to you now.

2007-02-16T20:26:00.000+08:00

oh HAHA! whatever. the words you used: include, trying, very hard. it's like you are trying to accept me like i just can't click with you, you know? oh, yea you don't. i am just this person who wants to join into you two isn't it? and you are probably thinking that i am blowing things up. fine, if that's how you think. you trying very hard? no. 'trying' itself is already like trying to do something that is so so difficult for you. why? why would a friend try to not leave her friend out? why TRY? i thought friends are naturally there for each other, without 'trying'? it's a normal act for friends to not leave each other out, but in this case, it is you trying not to, therefore, i don't think this is a real and true solid friendship. and you say it's not your fault, does that mean that i am complaining too much? yea, to you maybe. since it's so hard and you don't apprecitiate this friendship, let's just stop here okay? stop this friendship, and stop us from getting hurt. so you don't have to see all my complaints which irritates you so much.

one final
one last shot.
it's not worth to cry and think anymore.
i've made up my mind.

2007-02-16T18:19:00.000+08:00

i've just watched the many of black parade videos! so nice! and i think gerard really feels for FAMOUS LAST WORDS! he is so emotional! and he is cute. he is smacking himself and being very spastic i laughed like mad whn i saw him in the video doing funny actions. lol. ARGH! he said many f words n the song, like being really pissed with something which i think it's true. and i watched the making of FAMOUS LAST WORDS parts 1-3. nice! really! they burnt all the props and stuffs taken from the 1st single WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE. seeing them being burnt Bob said he can't believe it. anyway, i pity Bob, he burnt his leg during the last shot of FAMOUS LAST WORDS. and it was painful!eeee, i feel the pain too! ahhhhhh.

2007-02-16T15:50:00.001+08:00

i am supposed to write postcards for 3rd clarinets, ahma, madeline, yingying, kid... that's all i guess.

i don't like you. you never know how hurt i feel. her here her there. true friends? you yourself claim that and you don't care now. you see my heart bleeding? no i don't think so. you can just walk off like that to sit with her, and without telling me anything. yes, i can see, but can you at least have some decency to 'remind' me?

OH YEA, WHO CARES ABOUT SHANGYU. nobody

you two are always together. in class, somewhere. even ahma asked me why i didn't go to the store on wednesday, she only saw both of you. what happened to the friendship for the past two half yrs? gone? now, you only treat me as cold as you can. just because we are not together there, and whenever i look at both of you at a distant laughing, having fun, i'll feel that Heaven is unfair to me. perhaps, God is punishing me. but i don't know what has happened. everytime when you say, " i want HER." "nah nah, i want to sit with HER.", how would I feel? i am a human being with feelings, a heart not a toy you can play around with. when you are happy, you talk to me as warm as possible, if not, you are off to find HER, as usual. i am always the boring person in your eyes. what are friends for? friends are those who don't care how you are like and treat you equally as others. not like she's boring then i don't want to talk to her. oh, SHE is interesting and SHE amuses me, then you stick with HER more. simply sad and hurt i feel.

the school and classes are already disasters for me. i simply know the class hates me. whenever i try to tell the class something or ask for something, i can't perk up the courage to do so. what caused this? your hostality and my self confidence. laughings, mockings, jeerings, all happen in the class. alright, so yea i am not as GOOD as you, and you can laugh at that. it's been 1 year. i've been trying to fit in but i can never fit in. it's never going to happen. and for your info, that green bottle is a birthday gift from sj. not because i copy whoever in the school who is obviously you. you know who you are. do you know how much i yearn to leave this school? never to see you people again. God, please help.

and now, you and her are driving me crazy. aiya, i really hope this would be the last post about this matter, i really don't want to blow matters up. how long will our friendship last? i really hope it will be long. everytime i post about this matter, my heart aches, do you think i want to tell you this? no! but it's been in my heart for such a long time. seriously, think. do i have to always do something like that to regain our friendship? it's like i am forcing you to do so. i don't like it this way, neither do you. one day, you'll just get sick of me and my posts and dump me behind. i don't want that to happen. so let's cooperate.

i am really sick of this! i can't stand it anymore. let's not leave each other out. i don't like anyone to feel left out here. if one feels left out by the other, she will try to get back at that person by leaving her out. i don't want!

hurt

2007-02-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

AGAIN!!! yay! i like this.

Your True Birth Month Is February

Sharp
Ambitious
Spendthrift
Loves reality
Loves freedom
Temperamental
Low self esteem
Honest and loyal
Abstract thoughts
Daring and stubborn
Changing personality
Showing anger easily
Intelligent and clever
Loves aggressiveness
Quiet, shy and humble
Learns to show emotions
Rebellious when restricted
Determined to reach goals
Superstitious and ludicrous
Dislikes unnecessary things
Realizing dreams and hopes
Too sensitive and easily hurt
Loves entertainment and leisure
Romantic on the inside not outside
Loves making friends but rarely shows it

What's Your True Birth Month?

2007-02-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

another one...

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

What Number Are You?

2007-02-14T23:13:00.000+08:00

i am pretty bored you see. so i go check up things. and i am not happy again.
i've not done amath! and checking up on english! for your info, i am not coming to school tmr morning. oh yea, must bring mummy trackpants.
alrighty, bye people.

i ~~hate~~ you. you whom i hate.

You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.
The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

2007-02-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU MORE AND MORE. DAY BY DAY. YOU ALWAYS COME TO MY CLASS FOR WHAT? THEN COME TO MY CLASS WITHOUT SAYING HI AND JUST WALK OFF. SO MEAN. I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? I HAVE A FEELING THAT YOU HATE ME. AND WANT TO SPITE ME. AND IT'S TRUE HOR? WHATEVER. THEN YOU JUST GRAB A CHAIR AND SIT OPP THEM AND YOU THINK WHAT I DON'T CARE? DIDN'T YOU SAY IF YOU WOULDN'T LET ME FEEL LEFT OUT? THERE YOU GO AGAIN. SO WHAT'S THE WHOLE POINT? YOU ARE SAD? DO YOU THINK I AM NOT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I FEEL? DO YOU THINK I WILL NOT SEE? YOU ARE ALWAYS SO SIAN. WHY? THAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY LOR I THINK. BUT TOO BAD, I DON'T THINK IT'S GOOD. I AM NOT MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS OKAY! FINE! IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.

THE END.
hurtful.
the pain will never go away.
even if it does, there will still be a scar.

POOT

2007-02-09T18:15:00.000+08:00

hello blog. did you miss me? i'm sure. i got back my O lvl chinese today! i was so overwhelmed when i recieved the results and yea so i cried. i don't know why, others also didn't cry la. nvm abt that, i am happy that i got what i wanted. Thank You God.

"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned?"
--Matthew 5:13

i realised always when i am down, i'll always be alone. nobody will ever understand how i am feeling right now. it's complicated. isit because my blog is so sad that nobody visits? i dun expect pple to visit but i think i will be a loner forever. sighx. i am emotional, YES? but can't you show some concern. i don't like you. i hate this world and i hate you. my blog is sadistic yes, but i really feel that you can't be trusted. you said you will try to not leave me out, but see what you've done? i don't want to dampen your mood with this post, but i really can't endure it anymore. i need to talk to someone, but it seems like nobody wants to listen to me. and that hurts. so i shall rant on my blog. but you've already left me out. u've not done ur part as a friend, as a listener. you always seem so lost in ur own world. you always seem so attached to her. what happened? what happened to our bond last yr? last yr, we were alright. then this yr, u seemed to be always with her. it's is irritating to see u. i am irritated. apparentlyy u dun care abt how i feel. i told u to be livelier and u told me the same thing, to be happier. i know she is same section as u, i am also your friend. somethings u can talk to me too. the bond seemed to fade away now. i don't understand! you are so cold toards me and i just can't stand it!
oh, so that's YOUR personality, well, i don't like it.

FUCK

2007-02-04T21:52:00.000+08:00

i went to change shoes ytd! yay! i shall update photos!

cathlin and aqila!

cathlin's phone!, we took each other's phone opp.

random pictures! there's yingying with her big head.

and this is the retardprince's UGLY face!

prince's cake! she light up the candles all by herself! yay!

i love prince!
MUACKS!

i think she is so RANDOM! yucks-

2007-02-02T22:12:00.000+08:00

yesterday was retardprince's 16 birthday!happy birthday prince! yay. i love me. i love my presents. especially the converse shoes. but the size too big, tmr we are going out to change the size yay! and thank you all who wished prince a happy birthday. i wish to comment on GIRLFRIEND, vanessa lee and mummySOH! they are so cute! errr, as in their presents. jin jin brought me a bottle and it's it's it's green! then mummydear and kid forgot to take off the price tag on their present. so clever. but the present very cute. it's cute la, as in not like those cute=soft toys or babies. abit random, but i say it's cute. hah! i went home and saw the pencil case and laughed my head off! so funny. i don't know why! but thank you mummyLOVE and kid! i love you all! muacks. mummy don't ignore me. okay great. i love dumbo. thank you sec 2s!!! yay! i shall name it pealynni! haha! so cute right! thank you drum major for her chocolates! JI LIAN! thank you tanya and huangbaohui for the cute mug. thank you pohpoh for your cute notebook! it's pink! ahhhhh! thankyou daddy for the nice nice orange adi polo tee. i shall wear it tmr for outing. hah! thank you YIN XUE for the instant popcorn, but i think very salty. i think must pop more and longer. thank you! i am grateful! lastly, my dear sec 3s, i love you all. muacks! thanks for the shoes. i am really happy! really really! although the class like didn't sing a song, but my section did and that's enough for prince to be happy. obviously the class is 'oblivious'(as if). i wish! nvm. si wei! don't worry about my present! =D i just ate my cake. mummy bought this nice nice chocolate cake for prince! too sweet!

and chem SPA sucks! i did my titration on the bench instead of the stool! argh. and i accidentally knock the burette and it went swinging around, i feel so pig! so clumsy! ahhhh! and malu infront of mc! hah! i am like writing crap to my english arguementative writing!! i hate it. i am so going to fail my life!

i shall rant here. i hate her more and more. it can be anyone in general, i shall not say. one more day in school makes hell to my life. i feel that nobody out there can help me. i can rant to livia and she is a good listener, but not the others. i feel that the other people around me are very insensitive to me. when you say you understand me and know me and know how i feel, think again, do you really know me? i really hate it to see you and others together so happy, but with me a sulky face. i am trying to be sensitive to your feelings but have you ever thought about mine? i feel hurt. what happened? am i that bad that you hate me so much that you want to get rid of me? i just want a sensitive and true friend. but i don't seem to know where my true friend is. i am lost, who can save me? God. only God do know how i am really feeling. sometimes, i feel so sad that i just want to face God, and only God alone. i want to talk to Him. i want to go up There. this feeling has not only happened once but many times. when you are not around, i cry to myself, even when i am sleeping, i cry. i am trying to be strong here, but i just can't. i know that one day i cannot rely on you anymore, i'll just collapse. but i hope that wouldn't happen. i just hope this friendship will last forever. but, i'll also try to adapt to life without you. what if one day, i am alone. so like livia said, i can't always rely on you. you often take me for granted, and picking me up as a favourite toy; throwing me away as a useless thing makes me hurt. i can win the best actress awards. i am not only refering to one person with the above description, so if you think it's you, then let it be. i am just ranting, because i have too much sorrows within me. i cannot contain it anymore. i am sad. i often tell people i am sad. why? they ask, i don't know. just miserable. maybe i am over-sensitive, but you can try to put your feet in my shoes and think if you were me, how would you react? you always seem so happy with other people but not me. you can say that jealously or whatever, but i would also want you to treat me like a true friend. leaving me out of every game would only hurt me more and more, and cause my hate for you to grow more and more.
//
finally here's a poem that shows how and what i feel about this whole thing.

PLEASE ... HEAR WHAT I'M NOT SAYING

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fool by the mask I wear. For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but don't be fooled.

... I give the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness is my game; that the waters are calm and that I'm in command and I need no one. But don't believe it; please don't.

I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, nothing of what's crying withing me. So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying; what I'd like to be able to say; what, for survival, I need to say but I can't say. I dislike the hiding. Honestly I do. I dislike the superficial phnoy games I'm playing.

I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous, and me; but you have to help me. You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when that's the last thing I seem to want or need. Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings. Very small wings. Very feeble wings. But wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, I can make it. You can breathe life into me. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walss. But love is stronger than strong walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive, amd I am a child.

Who am I, you may wonder. For I am every man, every woman, every child ... every human you meet.

2007-01-28T19:02:00.000+08:00

"SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SHANGYU! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! SENIOR! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN!"

quote by Aqila. It makes me feel happy. because she bothers to care about me.

"GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
CHEER UP LA(:

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
HEY PPL LIKE THEM ARE NOT WORTH IT U NOE

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
SMILEEE EVEN THOUGH IT'S HARD

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
NEHMIND LA, I ALWAYS EXPERIENCE THIS

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
AND IT ALWAYS COMES TO A POINT WHEN IT'S UNBEARABLE

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
TALK IT OUT

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
IT HELPS

:
:
:

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
SO YA... U MUST LET THEM NOE HOW U FEEL

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
... SOMETIMES WE R UNKNOWINGLY INSENSITIVE N WE DUN REALISE IT

GOLD- our breakthrough AH-MASOH! says:
SO WE GOT TO GIVE IN TO OTHERS BUT U MUST ALSO LET THEM NOE THAT THEY SHOULD GIVE IN TOO N STOP BEING INSENSITIVE"

quote by LIVIA! she consoles me, so she's senitive to me.

what about you?

P.S. and please don't force me to do what i don't want to do. you know what you always force me. <- this part is for that person not in 4C

2007-01-28T18:23:00.000+08:00

i am pretty moody now as livia predicted. i was pissed ytd by someone. she ignored me for duno what the reason was. i cried you know? cause i feel very betrayed by her. she dun want to reply den dun la, but why must go and fake as if she doesn't know she didn't reply? i hate pple who cheat my feelings! i am so SORRY! i am emotionally weak here! and another reason is the weather is so cold. aiyah, 4 more days to 16 yrs old, i still act so childishy. i think she doesn't like me. if not why wld she not ans me? i only want her to recognise this friendship of ours. but she doesn't care. so why must i bother, it is so heartpain for me, here. my heart aches. seriously. and in class i dun feel much better, let me ask you a qns: do you know how much it feels to be left out? do u know the word sensitivity? do you know the word 'friendship', even? i bet you don't. if not my days at school wouldn't be like hell. HELL? nono, not that much, but i still feel left out here. i don't blame you, i blame myself for not being as sociable you. i blame myself for being lame. i blame myself for being me. it's that okay now? sometimes, i feel so out that i want to dig a hole and bury myself! you'll never understand because you never experience this before. stop apologising. if you think that i am such an irritating person, just tell me earlier, i dun want any makebelieves, cos it will hurt me even more. threesome is such a bad number. when the other two are enjoying themselves, the one will be left out, and they can't see my heart bleeding inside out. i feel left behind. abandoned. so it results in me being very mean to either one of them. when i get the chance i wld just grab one of them. i dun mn to abandon the other one, but if you feel abandoned sometimes, please use ur feelings to understand mine. i feel that always. especially when you two sits in class. threesome threesome threesome! i dun like it. it's either i give up or another add in. and sometimes, i thought you are true friends. i treat you as a true friend, but i am not sure if you ever did that to me. i am sad. i bury all these to myself and today, i am going to burst, so i rant on my blog, i talk to juniors! can u believe it? it is always true pple who are not of the same age understands you best. i talk with juniors. and they are always there for me. they know me best, they will never hurt me. but why you? my friend. you are my friend, not enemy.

i write feelings and thoughts in my blog because i don't want to be so blunt and speak right into your face. i don't want to dampen your mood get it? and i don't want to force you to befriend me. i have my plight too, i am not a dummy, u have ur feelings, do u think i dun? whenever i go, i feel so loner. during band, i feel heppy, because i can see aqila and livia and juniors. not because of you. and oso because i get to enjoy my clarinet.

i hope you do read this and understand my feelings now. i dun nd you to apologise. i just nd you to understand.

2006-12-25T17:22:00.000+08:00

as usual, i am blogging about matters that happened days ago (on friday 22 Dec).

//and we decided to have a section outing (FINALLY) at MARINA SQUARE because there's a bowling centre and cinema so we can watch movie after we bowl. we decided to meet at city hall mrt at 1030am and walk through city link to marina square. jokerbeast was the first to reach and i scared her with a boo. she was like shocked. boo only. (if you dun get what i mean, forget it okay!) aqila downloaded MCR songs!! hmph! u better go buy their album if not i dun what to say.. anyway, we waited for the rest then we saw huimin approaching and then tanya. then tanya said that i dress like AH-LIAN! i was just wearing a black tank and some beads necklace, then like that ahlian ar? argh, where got lor. erm i asked aqila to send me fergerlicious and it took very long time to reach 100%. when it sent finish alr, i did a very stupid thing. it was played but i hear no sound... then i was like why is there no sound huh?! it was then i realised that i had the earphones plugged on!! argh how can i be so retarded huh?! then we saw sherilyn ng coming and aqila called youting to ask her where she was. she was at toa payoh at 1045am. that's where she stays and hello.. we were supposed to meet at 1030am and she just reach her home's station???

nvm. so we waited...

and waited...

then finally she came.

//i called shuying to ask her if she's coming but she's not, by the way she was having tuition with peiting. err, peiting was the tution teacher.//

and it was worth waiting for youting because she gave each of us a present! woohoo! there are only six of us bowling and five of us watching movie, so sad.

bowling was so fun but we only got one lane, but still... it was fun lar! huimin damn pro can! her first shot then WOAH, strike! woots! i show you her score!

this was the first round ending. look at H!!! she got strike first round first shot!

i tell you the order of the names.

S=Sherilyn Ng

H=Huimin

T=Tanya

S=ME!

A=Aqila

Y=Youting

this was another 1st round scores. we're done with 1st round.

and then i took some photos of these bowlers!

belle, beast, aladdin and err... who's that? haha! tanya lor!

er... look at this person here. does she look like she can score the highest at the last round here? hah! JK! she was holding her lucky ball incase anyone took it. but actually the ball was the other team's and she just posed.

aladdin and BEAST! RAWR!

//well afterwards, we went to watch night at the museum and had no time for luch so we ate nachos. they were filling. the movie was so funny!! HAHAHAHAHA! i like the t-rex!! and we went shopping for tanya's presents after the movie.//

signing off... we went home duh.

2006-12-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

ok i shall blog about tuesday. coming for band it rained like siao! argh NE monsoon! yea.. then we had sectionals and chatted like crazy oso. this is 'GIRLS'. chatterboxes. anyway i told them ghost stories. hah! and so we 'practised' like real, mann. argh tanya didn't come bcause the rain was heavy!! woah! like woah!!! okay, then after band i walked out with huimin shuying and siwei then it was drizzling lar, then i shared my umbrella with shuying, but because i was having difficulty opening up the umbrella and i was trying to open it up, suddenly a very stupid happened to me. i shall say it very clearly... a stupid thing happened to me!!
*
**
*
it was that i knock into a sign post! i am seriously blind! really! and my hand got a red mark. when the following day, i told tanya this incident, she asked why didn't anybody videotape? hello?! excuse me, videotape? who can predict that that stupid thing would happen? argh.

we did drills on wednesday(ytd). lucky to those who didn't come. 'cause it's so hot and tiring, we had PT at first and some twinkles... erm not some i think.. alot!! then we were separated into different squads. i was in squad C! and my shoe's rubber 'chipped' as in just one small part is like out... so sad! argh. i bang too hard then stepped on my own shoe! how blur. and the last part was fun 'cause we have to say timing(erm shout..) at the top of our voices so that we could hear our own squads' timing. there one part damn funny, my squad and kid's squad was facing each other and out timings different, then shout very loud lor. gggrrr. i nearly burst out laughing. anyway, i got sunburnt and i didn't realise it until i went into the toilet at raffles city. so shocking! untitl now my legs and muscles still hurt.

ytd they said those two will come today but in the end, they didn't and we had sectionals... the sec 3s were having diagnostic test at second lvl, then i think we were blasting and squeaking like hell. but we played something at least. and spent the rest of the time chatting about tml's outing and now, what? history repeats itself again! SO MANY PPLE CANNOT MAKE IT. i am pissed off again!

and when your heart stops beating

i'll be here wondeing

Did you get what you deserve.

The end

and if your life won't wait

2006-12-18T18:07:00.000+08:00

i shall post more of ying ying.

i don't love you like i love you, yesterday

... ...

i don't love you anymore

2006-12-18T17:52:00.000+08:00

i declare that i love my mummy! yay! we went shopping ytd! and we bought necklaces for us! yea. and i love the strawberry one. it's so cute man. thank you mummy! okok. then we watch THE HOLIDAY. it's a very very touching movie. i like it too! nono, i love it. actually i cried. then we went home. and for your info: sweejin wants to forget about LA, but ytd Amanda(acted by Cameron Diaz) happens to live in L.A. so i was laughing when they said the L.A. and thought about my girlfriend's thoughts. -sighx

argh, i just can't find that magnet.

//
today i went for piano. and yea so piano only. but before that vanessa told me that she know something about our company! argh, then later she say don't know. what? what the heck? what she mean i am not sure, but who cares.

i kept having weird dreams. argh. such a long story. i want to cry.

now I know, that I can't make you stay. but. where's your heart?

... ...

.. ..

i am not afraid to keep on living

famous last words

2006-12-14T18:14:00.000+08:00

eh. i finally finished geo, don't ask me how. use my out-dated brain lor.

left with chinese and chem and ss. GRRRR-
i want to change my URL leh. but i dun want.. i dun know!

TANYA!!!!!! argh! you suggested the outing and now you can't go! shuying and some other pple oso can't go! argh! what's wrong with pple nowadays? can't they just finish their homewrok fast early and can enjoy the holidays?! so many pple cant go and i dun evenknow who's going other than th rest who are not going. i only know that aqila is going! and the rest?? argh- so pissed off man! it's your loss.

pissed off day-

but now i am glad that i finished doing geo.
sweejin is my girlfriend.

//random day as usual

2006-12-09T18:11:00.000+08:00

i am so blind can! just now i walking to the kitchen and ACCIDENTALLY AND BLINDLY knocked into the ledge of the entrance with my right elbow somemore! i was trying to open the sliding door and i knocked, that's not all, it hurt so much that i had to use my left hand as a supporter then it looked as if i broke my elbow joint! OUCH~

i feel so sian at home.

everyday
wake up
brush teeth
breakfast
do homework
play piano(hehe i rarly do that!)
lunch
homework again
read books
then watch tv(sometimes the whole day)
STONE!
dinner
TV
sleep

~~~

gosh, i've been wasting my own time and i don't care! Grrrrr. i feel so pissed off with myself and FUCK!

see so sian until i started swearing!

2006-12-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

just wanna add hor, during the first day of band camp at night we play the bottle game! and here are some photos.

look at my cinderella's side view and koh switch at the back! hoho~

the one with the blue cap is my bottle!!!

and tanya's holding it, oh no she's gonna smash it down now!

2006-11-29T16:31:00.000+08:00

i got ahma's thumb today and the songs so repeated one.

anyway, i want to show you ying ying the lion. haha.

look alike right?(no offence ar ying ying)
but i think the lion is so CUTE!

still uploading songs onto my phone! itunes is SOHslow just like ying ying said that she's slow! haha! SOHslow. i am just my old self SOHretarded.

chatting with livia ahma and talking about how slow ying ying is! ahhaha!

BAND PRAC

anyway, we did the DISCO LIVES today and it was SOHfunny 'cause my bell bumped into tanya's bell and yea, we burst out laughing! HAHA! and ying ying ar, you looked like a doctor today with ur specs! biantai*

2006-11-27T17:57:00.000+08:00

i'm going to blog about band camp'06.

the CSbian tais camp!
day one

BAND PRAC
we had band prac first lor. so boring and luckily mr ong said, "I guess the girls are hungry already."
then ms sia blurted off, "You hungry or they hungry?"
and i was actually kinda hungry but when ms sia asked i didn't put my hand up. it's so kuku to be the only one.
and during the woodwinds sectionals at the second lvl empty corridor, ms sia asked us to look at the netballers training. she said that even netballers need to 'warm up' before they play a real game. then she kinda caught huimin not looking at them instead at the male teachers playing soccer. but i don't think she's looking at them larh. what's there to look anyway. but it's so funny. then the second time huimin was just stoning or staring into space or MAYBE really looking at the male teachers, and ms sia caught her again and shouted, "HUIMIN! don't look at them liao!" or something like that larh. and she said there's better view at her place.

GAMES
we're group SOH!
yingying, marcia, retard, livia, wanyan, tiffany(sec3), xinlin, baolin, syahirah
yay! we are the SOHsss...
and the first game was molecules whereby we had one ball catcher, two score recorders and five pple who get the ball, the rest cheer! me and yingying were made to stand on the wobbly chair and we caught fishball the baseball and the yellow ball. but we didn't get the cabbage worth of 100 points! it's okay! we enjoyed the game anyway!

and second game was musician of the year. we had clue cards and went around the school looking for the clues with the leaders. we had to eat bananas and apples and drink watermelon juice FRESHLY SQUEEZED. wow! and drink mineral water to get the bottles. and eat lemons. i like the lemons. SOUR!

and we did pt and drills. and whooa the sec 2s really on mann! i think because of LTC that's why larh! can hear the sec 2s SHOUTING their timings really loud! i can't hear lor! hehe!

then the third game at night was fun cause we got the second place anyway with 18 points! we were being blindfolded and had to form one chain. i was leading know! so scary! i'm afraid of the dark and plus blindfolded. argh. then that's when the BIAN TAIS came in, so yucky lor, mo here mo there. so disgusting. seriously, zhiyin is a really good guide man! without her i think i would lead the group anyhow and BOMP BOMP BOMP! all faint ar. we climb here and there under the tables and benches and even go on top of them! nearly fell. but it's fun of course. but then we didn't win the trophy.we played billibanja with zhi yin. hehe! and the murderer game was so... anyway, youting and livia was one of the murderers and i got killed by youting! so bad! argh.

day two

during the night, i didn't brush teeth and couldn't sleep, i can't believe that i actually felt the coldness in the hall! i got blocked nose after that. so i woke up. along with cathlin, marcia. then we joined livia and madeline and aqila said she can't sleep either. but she didn't join us afterall. we talked abt yoga and dancing and livia went dancing! she drank HOT milo and burnt herself! AHAHAHA! then we ate the cookies emily gave cathlin, and we ate the cookies! livia SOH u better don't eye on my phone! hmph! jkjk! and i woke up finding myself tired but i actually slept. SURPRISINGLY. but i oso walked to sweejin and scared her. lol. that was funny!

we then played hidden electrons whereby one of our group memebers is missing that will be xinlin, and we have to find clues to find our hostage. and it's so similiar to last year's game. we also had to find out who the kiddnapper was. whom turned out to be JESSICA! argh. but we didn't find her. if we had just went into the control room and have a thorough search... anyway, it's over now. but i will be kinda sad later when we play the game mobile.

yeah, now mobile,i had to carry this tofu in my hand until the end of the game without letting it break or something. then ying ying! she broke my bottle! argh. sad larh, but after awhile i forgot about it liao. ying ying dun feel guilty or anything, cause u accidentally knock it over, unless it's really... hmmmm... i doubt, ying ying is nice right? hehe! anyway, the tofu surprisingly didn't fall from my hand!

FAREWELL PREPARATIONS

sree finished writing all the messages and i told switch what to do and three of us tied the messgaes with the strings and put the presents into the bags. wow! presents done. now what? dumb machine in the control room! can't use burnt CDs, so stupid! and then tanya called for everyone to go up the com lab and we played, then luckily we were able to use the laptop. then me and cathlin decided to dance when london bridge is played. hehe! and fatmah searched for me the photos of the gay couple, so ugly! and hilarious (i mean their stories and blog and FANCLUB!). gosh- nearly laughed until i faint.

FAREWELL

we played coronation march for the clarinet seniors and dedication for the whole band seniors. the skit was a BLOOM BLAST BOMP BANG CRASH and any other words that fits. haha! i was sitting down there laughing my head off at shuying! so funny. and my scene right, i heard the seniors said whooo~~~ hehe. so flirty.

overall band camp was great! i love being a prince~

2006-11-23T18:19:00.000+08:00

we went out to buy farewell presents at taka and i took photos of this christmas' christams tree!

pretty!

woooooo~~

i love this!

2006-11-17T20:44:00.000+08:00

hey! retard is blogging now.
how retarded, it's been so long since i've blogged. and i want to buy the MCR album YES YES! i also don't want to download and it's illegal(everyone knows that).
anyway back to monday(this monday), clarinet section supposed to come to school for the farewell rehearsal and i thought i couldn't make 'cause of piano lesson but i could in the end.

lead guitar and bass finished their lessons and they went to the canteen and then played the piano while waiting for their juniors to come and they couldn't find shuying and huimin, but anyway they played as in JAM on the piano. it's GRRRRRRRRREAT! they played WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE. of course bass played the bass part and lead played melody. it's so COOL!! they loved it. BASS IS GOOD! and of course BASS agree that that was the greatest duet that she'd ever played on a piano!!! and so their juniors came and they sort of performed for them. and they said it was good of course!

yeahs. that was the end. but anyway we rehearsed outside the family centre and we listened to MCR's songs and you know what? the person in charge of the centre asked us why we're sitting here. at first i thought she would scold us or something but in the end she said,"Girls, why are you all sitting here? Did you not know that you could go into the family centre to do this?" i was shocked, but anyway it's good, have air-con! but we'll be making alot of noise.
family centre is a very nice place.
we can make alot of noise and even eat there. but till then i have to leave for my piano lesson.

now, tuesday band prac, ms sia said that tanya and me have attitude prob. i don't know, but just don't really care now.

lead said on wednesday that bass played wrongly on Monday. but bass said overall it's still nice. yeah!

thursday, ms sia and mr ong came just to look at our performance on the DISCO LIVES. and ms sia said we improved. but before that we had sectionals and we rehearsed the farewell and for my part there was 6 TAKES or isit 7? i forgot but yeah, it's funny. after band we painted mr krabs' eyes and claws. i really love the pair of eyes, its just so nice. i drew it by the way. but its the paint that makes it look nice.

GOLLY GOSH. presents are not enough for everyone! must buy before thursday! and you all better write finish the messages by then too!

2006-07-24T18:55:00.000+08:00

yesterday, me and aqila were supposed to meet earlier for the honour band concert, budden she said she going there with gan ma so in the end we met there at two. i was walking out towards the escalator to find aqila and ganma, but met tanya from the other direction instead, okay. then we stood there, waited. tanya shared her MP3 with me, then gan ma and joker came, then we found out that marcia basuki(the BK girl- ltr u'll find out why) was still eating. then cathlin and youting still on their way. then we spent the whole time waiting and it turns out that we're super late, not exactly. but anyway, tanya the genius is hungry. woots- and i wanted to go toilet. urgently. and we were planning to go BK, so we went to city link there and tanya said there's a NEW YORK shop, we passed by, but who can afford all those food? not me. we walked and walked, walked to 7-11, bought myself a mashed potato and mango ice blended then i left $1 smth. lol. crapp. then we went to marina square. my feet having blisters liao. shit* i limped all the way. and when we first stepped into the mall. GUESS WHAT?? aqila saw someone, who's with his partner. lol. xD well, she told us then marcia shouted-whispered(u noe what i mn) 'CBY' of of not in initials form, but i dun wanna write the name. then i was like 'HUH?? who the hell's that?' i took like 5 secs to realise and see and respond to what they said all the while, how retarded. and i saw, marcia, sam, aqila were freaked out, coz he's their co-form tcher. lol. i oso larh, a bit. he was my temporary maths tcher last yr, i tot i wld fail my maths. back on track,heard that he's married then i saw the girl, she's quite young. duno lar and he seemed to be stalking us. gosh. he'll appear everywhere we go! then aqila RAN! really. i went off with her. lol. so retarded. we ran inside BK. then the others oso rushed in. i've got no mny left, then me and aqila go take money and what happened when we're not around was another thing. near the atm, we saw a shop 'TANYA' and a shop 'A,DREY'. cool. csj, u must go see the shop. and there's a cinema in marina square. i didn't noe! how outdated. the sign showed BOWLING CINEMA. lol then being joker and retard, we thought abt it, like aqila said a cinema that only showed bowling movies, which is totally ridiculous! okay we went back to BK. immediately i sat down, i saw the remaining girls laughing. me and aqila were super confused esp. me. then gan ma told mw to watch that BK guy for a while, he very funny. okay... coz when me and aqila not around, marcia was made to tuck in her chair coz it's too out. HUH??? when did a person ever made u tuck in ur chair? he walked around BK, then kept smiling, so freaky. wat the. then me and aqila went to buy chicken cheesesticks, he walked past me and i ducked coz i tot he was gonna tap my shoulder or smth, then he said EXCUSE ME with his hands stretching infront. i was FREAKED OUT. youting couldn't stop laughing. i ltr told them abt my encounter with a stupid man stalking me. it's freaky! then there's two malay girls, they just bought their food and stuffs, then that guy was like EXCUSE ME. and they laughed too. weird? i bet. the pple at the counter oso talking abt him. that malay guy said smth like WHY'S STANDING LIKE that(like chest super out;he immitated the action)? aqila was not enjoying the joke, she said its not his fault he's like that and what we're very mn pple. lol. then suddenly he came towards youting, she SCREAMED i tell you. SCREECHED. her whole face was red. can see that she's freaked out coz he touched her back, like asking where's the other chair from that table. youting couldn't even hear his qns i bet. and she was super duper scared. tanya told me that youting kept asking her to help 'tanya, help me. help.' yeps. we all tot he was targetting at marcia coz she's wearing a skirt. she exclaimed' omg, why am i wearing a skirt today? and today super freaky can? first, CBY, then this BK GUY. walao suay' we went off. on the way we shopped and bought farewell presents. very cute and nice. you'll noe when u see it. my blister getting worst. we took photos.

photos yet to be LOADED

2006-07-24T18:06:00.000+08:00

this are some of the photos that we took while clarinetists ; us ; were in jail. opps. no lah, its during sectionals...

this is the nice one. i like. we look so nice. ahha. esp. sam, coz she's tall and so yar, obviously stand infront.

2006-07-22T16:40:00.000+08:00

ytd was RACIAL HARMONY DAY

rachelLAM tanya retard fatmah

retard pohsin

retard pot/CSJ charlene

Clarinet sect(imcomplete)

dear sec 4S. i dun wan them to leave...
RETAIN LEH.

and i wore a kebaya. borrowed from shazreen. boo. nth to blog abt. and ytd ndp rehersal. lol. saw HER and HER. she looked at me and smiled when she walked past us with the flag. and i saw her during recess, she was orange, orange sari and hairband and switch's was green. green and orange, my fav man. whatever, then during parade, she went over to the sec3s and said smth, she tied her hair with orange. lol. and she went away. my 2 juniors were like 'wat's wrong with you?'

and whatsoever. then we were talking at that teacher needing a Z-cup. lol. i noe tt's kinda mn, but as you noe last yr was not tt bad, coz i din noe him. and this yr, he's my tcher, so obviously i noe that he's blah blah blah(i shall not say). and yar, no wonders gail was laughing so hysterically last yr during rehersals. so now i noe. LOL. cant stop giggling.

csj, still say you OU her only ar? you blushing alr k? and the person standing behind pixie doesn't look her her. she doesnt k? dun anyhow say. think too much ar you. conducting half way tell me she look like her. lol. NCC's so smart, damn nice can? i like the check dressing part, with the percussion- bass drum and snare drums. this drums remind me of aqila saying that her friend and her back sound like a bass and snare respectively. lol. JOKER-

2006-07-17T19:31:00.000+08:00

oooh, ribena is my favourite drink. okay, RANDOM. my mum finally bought me a new GREEN umbrella. WOOTS! i love green, don't cha love green? okay, i'm crapping again. and i'm stuck with my duno wat English product review kayes? and today, during announcement, Siying and Amira announced we got GOLD!!! gosh, i wanted to scream, but that's weird k? and yes. we got GOLD. k, i said that, there no need for me to repeat. and moddswings today. ARGH- freako, o level listening compre surely can't get full marks alr!! HOW?! its only listening, i cant get full marks?! want die ar? and switch said she saw her, i cant SEE, i need to wear my specs, then after the listening compre, she pointed out to me, then i sort of saw her, but then, so weird, i like duno if its her, anyways, POOR poh sin. her wound is like so EWWWW. (no offence) but she really very poor thing. limping all the way. haix, just hop she can get well soon before RACIAL HARMONY. gosh, i dun have costume! darn.

wednesday still have amaths and lit test. WAH! wanna die ar? and tml, bio pple have test. haix...

*the end.
to be continued...

2006-07-15T21:12:00.000+08:00

today was the 1st national band competition. it was so nerve-breaking for me larh. i scared i squeak here and there then have stage fright somemore.whatever larh, came to school, warmed up and ms sia came, play thru' the pieces and it was great. ate lunch-nasi lemak(super nice can? esp. the chilli, but rx say cant eat too much will have stomachache, but dun have leh), then changed to band uniform, so hot!!! and we went to victoria concert hall, during waiting time, we ate chocolates to calm us down?! tanya's family came and her mum took a picture of me and her, and aqila popped out of no where and took with us(i think). lol, she didnt noe that was tanya's mum. such a JOKER man. then the band b4 us like play so nice. we're so scared!! esp me sitting at the side, what if i squeak and everyone noe!? hack care alr, we just played and UNDER THE DOUBLE EAGLE was surprisingly better than YIDDISH DANCES. duno leh, i totally flunk my yiddish, didnt put in my best, like during band pracs. my fingers were shivering and they're stiff and cant move, but i did move along with the piece. HAHA. can now i'm so tired. after we perform, some of our sect was like not very satisfied, for instance ME. its like yiddish dances not neat and the beginning was quite a mess. luckily the ending bass drumer did a gd JOB!! yay. and we got GOLD. we got GOLD? can i believe it? no. but it's true. we are finally a GOLD BAND! gold as in the real gold yellow golden GOLD!!! not silver. lol. xD

our hard work has paid off. thankyou ms sia and mr ong for their faith in us to give us such a chanllenging piece to work on. and of coz their guidance. the seniors and leaders too, they supported us and assured us not to worry too much. it was afterall a great experience. and GOLD!

reply tags:

charmaine: yes! i'm eh gold band member, so are you. -applause-

2006-07-02T13:43:00.000+08:00

dead tired when reached home ytd. it was so exhausting and hot ytd.

yesterday, we went to JB for a performance at the Tun Fatimah school. actually looking forward to it and on the bus, i was eating bee hoon. WOOHOO. din't have time to eat breakfast. i woke up at 5 o clock. so early and sleepy, took a taxi to school, the fare was horrendously expensive.lol.whatever. and i reached school, went up to 2nd lvl, gave kid her bdae present and youting's belated bdae present. went into the band room and leaders and tchers brief us and they changed the bus!! yay! so overwhelmed. kid in the same bus as me. finally, my wish came thru. went down, wait for the bus, then reached the woodlands there and that stupid person asked me whether the photo in my passport is me(like DUH!!!) and i said yes, he even asked me to change the photo. please lor, kid oso said it resembles me. DUMB. reached the school and everyone waved at us, went into their band room to change into our uniform. so hot and we have to take out shoes in order to go in and blah blah...

sat at the tents to wait for queen of JB to come. sat there at least one hour!!!! AT LEAST ONE HOUR. gosh. it's too much though. even if she the Queen. it's hot and because i'm sitting at the side, the sun kept shining on me and we're wearing black blazer, even worst. i nearly slept. finally the queen came, we had to stand and blah blah. we started playing then kid told me her instru stuck. it worries me. kept looking at her, but it seems ok to me. but she said stuck. we play one piece, they play one piece. their band was quite gd esp. the percussion. then after we finish playing we(everyone of CSB) had to do a curtsy and shake hands with the queen. so weird. we went for lunch and took some photos with the girls there. opposite me, shuying and switch. i'm not sure which instru the girl opp switch plays, but opp shuying plays flute and opp me plays snare drum. they're very friendly.

some of these below are taken on the coach.lol.

SY2 and SY1.lol

retared girl and kid
LOVES xD.

our feet. smeellllies

this is another photo
of the retarded girl and
her kid. how apt.
she's stupid and i'm retarted.

oh my, sweejinkoh-chan aunty

and when we're going back, kid's shirt was out and siying touched her back wanting her to tuck in, she told me she thought that was a molester. how bon can she get?

WEES~
you are kid(MINE).

end of our story//

2006-06-25T21:44:00.000+08:00

reply tags:

charmaine: you! tagboards! 2! and its funnn! LAME. (: RETARDED, i know.

gv: thx! i like it too! (: thats why i put this colour, i like green too!

#1bon: i'll miss you! and dun forget ur letter tml. i'll give it to u personally and reply. or else... -EVIL GRIN- you'll know it. i'll miss you loads. my kid.

2006-06-25T21:37:00.000+08:00

eh. today might be the last few times i'm gonna blog when school reopens tml!!! gosh. it's so fast, school's starting in 10 hrs time!!! and i'm still here blogging. how dare you. i must go sleep soon. haven't shower leh. eeeks! stinks mannn. and blogging crap. i hope not to dream tonight. if not tml i'll look like a panda AGAIN! wah! holiday homework half done not done like that. and cannot go out that often. competition coming, and my piano exam and 'O' level chinese!!! oral!!! i hate it mann. and i duno how to talk one larh. and i'm deaf too. can't listen propery...

tomorrow is a new start. LAME
going off now.
miss ~~HER~~.
yay.
bye

2006-06-20T12:28:00.000+08:00

the person i missed most is finally back TODAY.but i think because of alot of time difference, she might still be in NEW YORK(i don't know) or might be on the plane.i called her hse, nobody answers.

God bless Tanya to have a smooth journey. Amen.

reply tags:

sj: eh. u are siao can? love falling into your pond. anyway u okay alr? today still go to the course?! if u go today, why dun go for band huh? understudy and somemore SC. lol. =D tanya scoming back today. ahhhhh!

i finally sort of finished my hw.some i dun wanna finish.like lit play reflections.so goshy.and the bk review.and loads of crap project and tanya's not even here?

give me a break mann...

2006-06-15T22:16:00.000+08:00

i miss you. promise you'll be back soon yars?

i'm so tired...
[YAWNS]

#1 bon, why you still not online. i thought you're gonna check worldcup thingy for your mum? nevermind. i shall do my own stuffs. and holiday is not a real holiday. 'cause i don't get to enjoy it. with homework PILED like mountains. it's bad. what's more, no overseas trip. staying at home is sometimes better for this type of LAZY BUMS like me. :D and no band. free from one thing. but there's still homework. GRRRRR. pig larh.

i kept dreaming. i don't wanna dream. i want to sleep well. every morn wake up so bloody tired. like didn't sleep for AGES! DREAMS are ridiculous 'cause they don't happen in real LIFE. -sighs

shut up and get on with your work. gtg.

2006-06-12T11:28:00.000+08:00

reply tags:

van: wells... u are a bon. everyone is. haha. BON!

2006-06-12T11:27:00.000+08:00

i got ready ur present le #1 JOKER. i'm feeling SICK. GGRRRRRR. oh mann.

2006-06-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

reply tags:

#1 JOKER: nono. never dare to keep u in suspense. 'cause i have IT course on that days. thus, duno if can go band first not. it starts at 8.30. yeps. dun worry ar. ur present is very safe with me. hehe. and u will get it SOON(when school reopens)! yups. miss ya.

2006-06-10T19:17:00.000+08:00

OH NO!!! #1joker's present is still with me and not decorated yet. but aiya whatever larh. she'll eventually get her BELATED present when school reopens. so no worries. #1joker dun worry too much. you'll get the present SOON!!! and no FEDEX. sorry. 'cause no money larh. so delay abit larh. and this #1retard is really busy. she's so busy until she can't go out that often. sobs.

and switch arh. so careless. help ur dad carry the fish also sprain ur wrist. aiyo, and followed by falling into ur pond. ur pond so small u fall in also wont drown de. haha. jkjk. ur pond small, fall in also won't get hurt. and in fact u didnt. switch. poor switch. hope she'll read this post(hop so, but dont think so) and care for you. haiix.but u still sprained ur wrist. still PAIN? sigh. i know there's this word called pain. i accidentally hit ur wrist one larh. sorry.

i miss tanya. when will you be back? and i dreamt of #1idiot ytd night. she was wearing a sec1 badge(yellow) and she looked at me. wahhh!!! i dreamt so many times of tanya!!! damn it! tanya please be back. so many things happened when u were not around. aiya. u come back then tell u larh. new york... i wanna go!!! u think i so rich? NAHS. and i dun wanna school hols to end so soon. haix. i've done so little during the hols...

and i bought this CD today. the BIGGER 18 hits blah... inside got one song reminds me of that evening. during this activity, we were all crazy and it reminds me of her. all of them were also crazy larh... and i had earworms after that and i'll remember this scene forever...

#1retard__

2006-06-06T17:59:00.000+08:00

reply tags:

sj: i'm like blogging now?!

silly ganma: nevermind u bon bon ganma.

there's band today.aiya band almost everyday one larh.and vanessa just made a blog.haha.so funny.yarps.this holiday so busy.homework piled like mountain.DARN.so many things happened.
so many people from our section transferred here and there.actually only got two lar.actually if i was transferred, i will be sad but think again.its actually learning new stuffs wad.i dun mind much.so marcia and youting think bigger!yeps.dun be too sad.we'll help you as much as we can!!!
can't sleep well enough.everynight also dream blah.

`blabbers

2006-05-07T19:11:00.000+08:00

i long time no post.who cares.not much peeps read my blog so yarh...

anyway i'm somehow looking forward to 'Macbeth' play.but it's oso embarrasing to stand on stage infront of the whole school performing.what's more we can't use mics.and i might be tongue-tied and whatsoever that i might not be able to project my damn voice.it's counted for SA.omg.really worried that i might forget my lines and blah blah...
my role is quite small larh that my lines are very little so i shouldn't complain.switch is acting as Macbeth so that's alot of lines.rehearsals are really tight and we fear that we have not enough time.anyway... all the backstage and casts JIA YOU! we'll make it de.i still very jin zhang.nevermind.

switch is so gonna be happy if she kept looking at her on stage.i wunt.coz i would be so freaked out if she is looking at me.i'm not really over with her yet.but mostly yes.hope so.she was very tensed up on that day.well,i guess she wanted to laugh during that point of time.

reply tags:
aqila: hi. must come for band prac.hehe.all the best.

2006-05-07T19:08:00.000+08:00

reply tags:

manel: yepps.glad that you know.hehe.take cares-

syahidah: not really over.but who cares.she's leaving soon so yar.by e way, how did u noe my name and my blog?!clever arh!cya at school.

2006-04-07T11:33:00.000+08:00

we are in the com lab now!! yayy

finding english article.yayy.
switch's beside me.

yo. this is sj here. you have made the no. 1 choice. yeah. AND THIS IS REALLY ME OK!! stamp of approval of your sc.(student conductor)

okay. whatever she said.

2006-04-05T21:11:00.000+08:00

reply tags:

sj: its NOT rubbish! okay. den tml got TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, omg. i'm like not revising?

end.
speech day-

saw HER and she looked at me. forget it lar, just give upp. :)

2006-04-05T21:04:00.000+08:00

i'm very upset about alot of things.

just too many.i shall shut up.

too overjoyyed but also disappointed.yes.
pouts//we did counter-march today, so messy!!! omg.
dressing so OUT!some of us even mixed sampan-turning up with counter-march.then we were like all banging into each other.some had to squeeze thru 2 pple den march.ahha.it's messy.HOW?!omg.faints.but when we are going to do drills, before hand should tell us, den we can like wear eh shirt n not blouse...haiix.perspiration.

deadtired________

2006-03-24T19:12:00.000+08:00

EGO (:

kohsweejin rejects me.'cause she has HER in mind.okays.whatever.hey physic rep (:

must work harder in getting your goal okay?kohsweejin rejects me,but its okay.we are just FREINDS!

what are you thinking? (HELLO)...

i want band everyday.but i also don't want it everyday.

(shuttuptheCRAAP)

odd...

hmmmm...

i wishh i had KNOWN her.

my rae of sunlight.howODD.

2006-03-24T18:24:00.000+08:00

MALUIATED.-investiture

kohsweejin.odd.kohsweejin.odd.kohsweejin.odd.kohsweejin.odd.kohsweejin.odd.kohsweejin.odd.

REPLY TAGS;SWEEJIN

sj: oddodd...who knows that. who cares. she was EMCEE for today, switch is EXTREMLY happy+overjoyyed...yayy. you were in that state right?

LEADERS INVESTITURE rocks.saw the RAE.she was worshipping LD who was your highness and SHAZA so funny.so white!alright...i was very excited.. duh*who's not unlike not SWEEJIN.(does that make sense?)okay.whatever

i think she knows SWEEJIN and she knows me too.(the SHES are diff.)haha.you shld know.

i'm planning to give up...so don't bother now shangyu.yeas.just shut up.she doesn't know you or even bother saying a 'HI'!!!

*quote by kohsweejin : "self-denial is a step to acceptance...silence means consent!"*

whatever RUBBISH mann.KAbiish.

end story-

2006-03-18T12:37:00.000+08:00

i just visited her BLOG!its raindrops...so similiar to mine!so fated!ohhmygosh!

reply tags:

sj:wells,u damn slow can?so long den give us e physic w/s.hows ur audrey?u ogle enough?haha.i reli very lazy on com. den type...NO time!TOO much thinking abt her le.switch..i tell you im so fated with her.nearly BANG into her so many times in CAMP.ahha.den her blog like got rainning BLAH...u & ur AUDREY so fated meh?argh.goosebumps.hehe

liu qiong:yeps :)) linkked

junling:im not crazy over joshua ang le!!haha

2006-03-18T12:34:00.000+08:00

lost.

in no where.
ohh just shut up!

lea rae... post OAC stress.ayar.i just took some photos from her.hope she dun mind.
i cant stand her.she is so pretty.ahhhh!

im dying...

2006-02-12T15:29:00.000+08:00

my old stuffs

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2006-02-12T15:23:00.000+08:00

this is me. for instance

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2006-02-12T15:22:00.000+08:00

my CAKE. well im 15 this year.

ALL THESE PHOTOS ARE COPYRIGHTED!!! ANY DUPLICATION OF THEM WILL BE SERIOUSLY IT TROUBLE!!!

2006-02-12T15:19:00.000+08:00

words

ALL THESE PHOTOS ARE COPYRIGHTED!!! ANY DUPLICATION OF THEM WILL BE SERIOUSLY IT TROUBLE!!!

2006-02-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

wow!long time never POST le.so busy.haha.todae O level results out.den top student from our school.isnt that something to be proud of?kayes.medicorp came todae.hope we can get one or two days off. hehex.im sleepy mann.oral is coming soon,n i am LOST in my own world.ORAL!!!my oral SUCKS.OHmyGod.new juniors coming in.sec fours leaving soon.i reali(x100000)very sad.coz,maybe we were actually relying too much on them,dem i duno wat to do without them.me oso BLURR.plus BLURR again.now my blog not so dead ar.i LOVE bao n tanya's present n van n jiaQI's.

they are cute.nice.reli.
thanks.//

when can i BE a real Christian?

signing off...CHRISTIAN-TO-BE??!

joshuaANGveliSHUAI.hehex.shawn is cute not shuai..That's wad i think.no offence.

2006-01-08T14:08:00.000+08:00

its a new year. new begining. forget all the past. hehex. im crapping again. my class has v li' peeps. but 3a even worst. i think we got most no. band peeps. rite? not too sure. im still the laz as usual. =.= nice 3c peeps. hehe. =D. feel weird on 4th lvl. seniors said its cooling dere. quite true. but nd to climb alot of steps. i think 80. 8 steps/flag of stairs. 10 flag total. the third day, my muscles r aching. ARGHH- shows how much i haven been exercisng durin' hols. some things are v. nonsense. haha. im crazy todae. nvm. im still stucked with my stupid height. so short ya. a-maths is lame. as in. we have to do maths journal... hmmm... like journal?! ok.. lit journal is still ok. its like blogging. but. maths!!! we haf to rite wat we learnt all those stuffs. -sighs heavily. i hate riting journal on PAPER! not like u can type out like now... kkk.... seriously.. this is getting bored at home!!!

2005-12-25T12:07:00.000+08:00

today is christmas!!!

i dun have ani presents. haix.
blahx.im that bored.din even go out during hols.but its gonna end Soonnnn...

sheisalwaysinmy<3. it is her?

2005-12-05T14:22:00.000+08:00

i got a WHITE specs.

EWWW.

show ya all when i get it.

SPECS. ewww.

2005-12-05T13:55:00.000+08:00

itsBEENehLONGtime...

sinceIblogged.
chalet/campWEREfunn.

buhh. neverUPDATEagain. *BULLSHIT

waitLONGER.

2005-11-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

how abt im sorry?

2005-10-31T18:03:00.000+08:00

blame it all on me okay? my FAULT, yes everything is my FAULT. onli if i go for section chalet, you all would be happy. i din not state that i dun want to go. tanya and gv cant make it. i CAN i CAN i CAN!!!!!!!!!! satisfied? fine. i shall just go. dun u ever say that my piano is not as impt as band. piano costs my mother so much. $215/mnth. and u all dun have piano. dun need to pay such a great amt of mny. $215.00 per mnth. i had tried to juggle band n piano b4 tt oso. during the rehersal on speech day. i have piano, n din not go for piano. dun tink tt my tcher has alot of time for make up lessons. she is oso v busy. so i cant afford to lose any lessons, coz she has reli no time for makeup lessons. whether u all like it or not. im going for my piano lesson first den chalet. u all can have all the fun and check in tgt. how abt me?! i will have to WALK in by myself, n miss out the fun u all had when i was having my piano. u all just dun understand. everything when u all angry, its all bcoz of juniors. its ALL my fault okays? sorry?! i am so sorry to have make u all angry over this matter. if u always had this opinion of me that im such a person, then continue. u dun noe me. i put band in first place but sometimes there's a limit to where one can go. u all dun have to care abt having piano lessons always or most of the time clashing with BAND. i oso cant stand it. i dun like to CLASH things. band/section vs piano. k... whatever larh. dun worry too much. coz i will be there. juz check in for me. if u all think tts TOO troublesome.. den dun. i shall check in by myself n WRIGGLE myself in which i duno where u all will be. i noe u all juz had ur Os todae. feeling stressed out isit? relax. section chalet. i will be ther lar. but ltr if u all dun mind. but if u all do. i have no choice. im so sorry.

2005-10-30T20:11:00.000+08:00

4 more days to terence one mnth old!!! yay! todae.. alot of guests came in mahh hse.. den sherman v. farnie ar!!! he is so cute.. so chubby.. hahax.. pinch his cheeks ar. joey is a sweet gal.. not like when she was young.. haix.. -SHAKES HEAD. well.. overall, the best and the oldest and the longest i have ever known is NIKKY(spell wrongly rite? duno lar). we played piano-so boring. den sherman go BANG piano. i nv say aniting, coz its RUDE. hahahax. nvm.

TERENCE sure had fun today... coz he nv reli cry.. den look so CUTE, forever one lar. den i MUACKS him on his cheeks!!! so kor ai!!! HAHAHAX. his eyes open so big.. haix not like his sis(EYES SO SMALL).

tml.. tml.. i can watch ZORRO!!! omg- although its an old movie.. but its OUT now NEW!!!! oh yea! uh huh... whatever... hahax. dilemma abt section chalet. maybe juz go for bbq lor.. but.. i still wanna stay home watch the'you-noe-wad-show' ahhem. wang zi bian qing wa!!! ARGH- dun tink tt U want us to bond, then some others oso agree with you... wells. dun JUDGE a book by its cover. dun try to act NICE. in fact sometimes YOU ARE NOT!!!

2P'o5 gone forever physically. but its not gone mentally. im proud to b a PRUDENT'IAL' for 2 whole yrs. now dphe left us.. we sure miss her!!! BAHS- dphe, u RAWK ON!!!

2005-10-30T13:54:00.000+08:00

foreverMEMORIES

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2005-10-28T20:47:00.000+08:00

din blog ytd.
din want to. no time oso.
ytd played FRIENDS FOR LIFE. haix, boring-

i dreamt of MARK night b4 ytd. hohox
im indeed enjoying mI hols. but to some extent, its not veri gd. HW!!! yupps. den still have to go to band.

i dun want to go sect chalet leh. stay home watch WANG ZI BIAN QING WA!!!!!!! den oso got ex-seniors i duno dem. den got so mny pple, so dui lian. den got another reason... sighz, nth lar.

faster nxt wed leh//i wanna watch TV!!
YOU called me lousy, i dun mind. YOU said i GONG, i oso dun mind. but den now YOU suddenly so pissed off with me i am sorry, i cant take it. I MIND. how can YOU be angry with me? that doesnt matter much now. can we forget about all these? AND who told YOU that i was not talking about YOU in my blog[not this entry].

if YOU think YOU fit in this- THAT is YOU.

alot of pple oso guessed that IT IS YOU//crap//i told them that they were crazy-

hehex.

im seriously gonna miss 2P'05. although i noe several of YOU dun like twoPRUDENT & esp. a person in it, i dun care. whatever. (((:

ma'am JY. wahhhs- love her ALOT ALOT. lol//and YOU-

2005-10-26T21:17:00.002+08:00

i reli want to say smth about taggs-
ummmm//firstly.i duno hu's "(".i asked EVA.she says nort HER.of coz i blif her more den the two LIARS hu always cheat my feelings- argh. i warn u.

specially to my niceniceSENIOR:
whether i am straight or nort//u know best its nort up to u to help me decide.
i din reveal anithing yet. so DUN JUDGE ME/im nort trying to be rude or anithing. even if i like a HER, does that matter to you ALOT ALOT???! no it doesnt. 1stly, u r my NICE NICE senior. so u shld be NICE (x. 2ndly, u put ur name as nice nice senior doesnt mean tt i duno hu u R. if u reli dare, put ur BIGNAME down. BIGGRINS (((: 3rdly, do u even noe hu i like? do u noe me that WELL that u noe hu i like? crapp- dun listen to RUMOURS mann ((://thats all. whether u like or not, hope u will read this. but i just want to tell u all this. (nort trying to bee RUDE.) dun scold me hor! maybe theres is some misunderstandingS?
======================================================
tml is last dae of TERM 4/2005. band tml! (x yippee! too bad u nort there hor?!
if u there u confront u! muahahaz.
======================================================
specially for my fren here:
hope u r reading this now. cheers- ur stream is actually wad i wanted b4 exams. -BAHH but i changed my mind now. but rmb to SMILE always (((: make everyday ur fullest okaes? dun ever forget me hor- i will HAUNT you- lol. JKJK- u noe hu u r ok?! YOU r YOU. tts wad u told me. hahax- i noe u cann do ur maths well cann?? say YES! i like bio. but i decided to take phys. (((x
see you tml! dun stay outside klaz mahx.

2005-10-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

FACIS!!! jump! LEFT to RIGHT ; moses, felix, eric, wen si, michael, MARK, kenvia...

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2005-10-23T23:34:00.001+08:00

ALL of us

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2005-10-23T23:34:00.000+08:00

us//LIONS again

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2005-10-23T23:33:00.001+08:00

wow//serious work

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2005-10-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

us//LIONS

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2005-10-23T23:32:00.000+08:00

flag-

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2005-10-22T22:24:00.000+08:00

TAF camp was fun!!!
Basically, we met some farnie facis there like the one who part the red SEA [OMG]//
there were oso rumours abt liking of someone.. ermx?!
AIYO- i noe who!!!
ok.. 1st day...
we know our own facis[uncle moses+auntie wendy]//we played alot of games like the frisbee[my team won!!!]LIONS, we rock//den we had lunch(SUBWAY) "i ate vege one!!!"
okay... after that we painted our own flag//it was NICEE!! =p
den we have to make this structure to like 'PROTECT' our flag from getting wet later when we play water bombs!! it was supposed to be a pyramid, but den the base did not have equal length... so it looked like a VACCUM CLEANER!!! arghh- we finally finished the structure and took a grp foto- errr
den we actually should be playing WATER BOMBS, but den its like the MOE dun allow.. they say waste water.. SOBS- so we played FRISBEE again... ok lar, v fun oso//but we din get THAT wet... but NOT fair!!! i din get wet!!! HMPHS. coz i accompany vanessa to AS1//she need to go earlier coz she got tuition. so i oso need to fill mii bottle// den when i went back.. the others were pouring n splashing water at each other!!! eeyer.. i miiissed that water FUN!! haix-
but over all was still FUN!!! interactive though- hmmmm... DISMISSED-

~~end of 1st day~~

erm//today[2nd day]
eeyers- vanessa, sarena, yati, rohini and stri(sorry if i spell ur name wrongly=p) nv come... haix-
we actually went SHOPPING!!! at SHOP n SAVE~!!!!! eeeks- den we ate wat we bought...
we went back to SKOOL-
10 items LIONS bought: bread, tuna, luncheon meat[beef!], yoghurt drink[STRAWBERRY], apples!!, cabbage[i peeled + washed for LIONS =) vid vid(moses call her tt =p)helped me though], baked beans[ewww], JACOB crackers, twisties and CHEESE!!!
mummy prepared the apples for us and shes got the flag!!!
MARK!! oh yar.. he's LQ's faci... hmm... getting us suspicious//okay.. JKJK///wells.. he is ok lar den his grp made him drink the duno wad disgusting drink with duno wad ingrdients in it... he drank it all!!!! OMG- so GROSS. den dey have to sing a song!!! like it was TWINKLE TWINKLE LI' STAR -sighx
thay winning grp was grace's tt grp, den they got yoghurt ICE-CREAM... i ate... den it drip onto my shirt.. eeks- it was duno wad BULLA brand.. i nv hear b4 lehx[hahax]//=x
later we finished the lunch... we were supposed to go to HEALTH ZONE!!! den we played ball games... den i feel v outcast suddenly.. aiya... wadeva lar... >_<
at ZONE... went around with vid, den i CYCLED[like real]around singapore!!! den we went for this talk//food nutrient//tt someone was sitting near vid n me.. -BLEAHX
we den have to do journal for this thingy.. moses said we have to be trueful.. okay lor-

went HOME!!! i shld say... rather i walked home!!!

~~END~~

*pics are still with moses!!! argh-

2005-10-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

i am in SERIOUS dilemma on choosing subjects!

eeeks-
physics or biology//lit or history???

-OMG lor

HELP me-
ahhh...

mugs-