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Friday, February 16, 2007 i don't like you. you never know how hurt i feel. her here her there. true friends? you yourself claim that and you don't care now. you see my heart bleeding? no i don't think so. you can just walk off like that to sit with her, and without telling me anything. yes, i can see, but can you at least have some decency to 'remind' me? OH YEA, WHO CARES ABOUT SHANGYU. nobody you two are always together. in class, somewhere. even ahma asked me why i didn't go to the store on wednesday, she only saw both of you. what happened to the friendship for the past two half yrs? gone? now, you only treat me as cold as you can. just because we are not together there, and whenever i look at both of you at a distant laughing, having fun, i'll feel that Heaven is unfair to me. perhaps, God is punishing me. but i don't know what has happened. everytime when you say, " i want HER." "nah nah, i want to sit with HER.", how would I feel? i am a human being with feelings, a heart not a toy you can play around with. when you are happy, you talk to me as warm as possible, if not, you are off to find HER, as usual. i am always the boring person in your eyes. what are friends for? friends are those who don't care how you are like and treat you equally as others. not like she's boring then i don't want to talk to her. oh, SHE is interesting and SHE amuses me, then you stick with HER more. simply sad and hurt i feel. the school and classes are already disasters for me. i simply know the class hates me. whenever i try to tell the class something or ask for something, i can't perk up the courage to do so. what caused this? your hostality and my self confidence. laughings, mockings, jeerings, all happen in the class. alright, so yea i am not as GOOD as you, and you can laugh at that. it's been 1 year. i've been trying to fit in but i can never fit in. it's never going to happen. and for your info, that green bottle is a birthday gift from sj. not because i copy whoever in the school who is obviously you. you know who you are. do you know how much i yearn to leave this school? never to see you people again. God, please help. and now, you and her are driving me crazy. aiya, i really hope this would be the last post about this matter, i really don't want to blow matters up. how long will our friendship last? i really hope it will be long. everytime i post about this matter, my heart aches, do you think i want to tell you this? no! but it's been in my heart for such a long time. seriously, think. do i have to always do something like that to regain our friendship? it's like i am forcing you to do so. i don't like it this way, neither do you. one day, you'll just get sick of me and my posts and dump me behind. i don't want that to happen. so let's cooperate. i am really sick of this! i can't stand it anymore. let's not leave each other out. i don't like anyone to feel left out here. if one feels left out by the other, she will try to get back at that person by leaving her out. i don't want! hurt this person was online @ 3:50 PM I typed |