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Sunday, February 01, 2009 1. DUCK 2. Livia Chua 3. Lee Hexun 4. Denise Ong 5. Ng Ching Siang 6. Perng Jia Wei 7. Lim Xinyi 8. Nicholas Tay 9. Tanya S. Anthony 10. Marcia Basuki 11. Liu Xiang Ting 12. Lim Qi Xuan 13. Aqila Aziz Alkaff 14. Madeline Chng 15. Koh Poh Sin 16. Chua Si Wei 17. Tay Yinxue (She claims she sent an sms to me, but I didn't receive. Oh wells) 18. All of 0831 pple who contributed to the cake! yupp yupp. Not alot of people this year but, I shall be glad at least people do remember. THANKS! this person was online @ 10:27 PM Today is a special day for both of us. ((:   We went to Seoul Garden and ate some hard beef. -.- that tasted totally gross. But the desert was nice! ((: I mean what can you expect from Seoul Garden man? HAHA. Shan't blog much, let the photos do the talking.       The End. Happy~ ((: this person was online @ 10:00 PM I typed
Saturday, January 24, 2009  I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. There’s no one that I hate so much, beside myself. After living for almost 18 years, I’ve never ever achieved anything that made me proud of myself. Not even saying making my mum proud of me. Well, today I got back something that really stabbed into my soul. Okay that sounds reasonably wrong and I do not care, see. Anyway, I am disappointed, to put in simple terms. As usual, my hope has just vanished into thin air. I think that’s the reason why I am coughing, my lungs feel uncomfortable, and plus my two wisdom teeth are extracted, that makes me even more uncomfortable.
I really didn’t know what to do, when I got the envelope, I took it out slowly, and like I am peeping on somebody else’s results rather than mine. Well, when I was reading the comments for my first, it has good and bad points. Same goes for all the rest. But I had a gut feeling, that I am doomed. I am so dead. But, yes, I truly am DEAD. How disappointed and depressed and unhappy and angry. All the money and time, gone to waste. I have never ever felt like the whole world is coming down. And I am going to stop class, until after a levels. HA. How nice and ironic that the examiner commented that my dress code was professional. But what’s the use? I have nothing inside me, it’s just a fake, an outer covering. What’s the use?
I held back my tears, ‘cause my mum’s there. But when I went back, I cried. I cried like I never cried for a long time. Yes I have not cried for a long time. As in really cry because of something. Not just those ridiculous childish tantrum cries. Shakes my big stupid head. I seriously think that someone should screw my spoilt brain, I think the system has become corrupted. In other words, I need to see a counselor! ((: Do you think that I am mad now? Maybe that’s the reason for me not being so likeable? Or is it just because I am not friendly enough. HO! I do not know. But demoralized me is very very confused now. So how? What should I do? For the first time, I lost my direction in life. It had always been my forte. (Or maybe not, cos I am lousy.) and now I have nothing to be glad about. Nothing to look forward to every start of the school day. Nothing to bang about. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing in my life. I have lost you. When can I find you back? I am sure. I WILL MISS YOU. I think this applies to every musician? I am not sure either. I am screwed and damned and doomed that everything, absolutely everything, is too late to say. But NOT DO. I can still do. With time AND HARDWORK. Not just roughly practise. I LACK PRACTISE. So basically, I deserve it! Idiot. Just admit it man! You deserve it ZSY!
 this person was online @ 10:00 PM I typed
Tuesday, December 09, 2008 1st Station! The namecards shop! But, because it's a public holiday, so it's CLOSED. POUTS-  2nd Station! Chinatown to buy cloths. -No photos- 3rd Station! Bras Basah Popular to get the BOARDS, streamers, transparent paper. ((:  Stopped at bugis to eat lunch, but dear didn't eat bf. Naughty girl. And we did accounts. Look at her, so serious in doing accounts. She didn't even realise i was taking her! HAHA! CUTE. ((:  And I was bored. So there. Me.  4th Station! The gifts shops! ((:  Another angle.  ((: party & gift!  The hat that we finally bought! ((: sweet! HAHA! The guys have to wear pink ones! Girls will wear this orange one.  5th Station! LAST! ((: Taka toys department. This is the sticker maker I was talking about. It makes STICKERS!  Maybe instead of tattoos, we can cut costs by buying this! CHEAPER!  The refill pack.  There we go again. ((:  OH!!!! EXCITING PART! We are queueing for something! ((: or should I say for someone really chubby and yellow!  Look at the people.  LOVES! <33  We went to Disneyland. In Singapore!  HEHE! So cute!  AGAIN!  And you know, when i went up on stage to take that photo with Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore, I was so nervous and when Pooh waved to me, I even waved back. Haha. Damn retarded can. Oh mann. Logisitics shopping. Hmm! I wanna go again next time! ((: this person was online @ 3:11 PM I typed
Sunday, December 07, 2008  Councilers busy with the Open House Banner! ((: They are helpful people!  Left in clockwise direction: Nictay, his friend((:, SiJin  Left in clockwise direction: Auntie Teo, Denise (busy posing with her trademark finger pose), Sutsia  Them again. Pegasus Banner!  Mr. Griffin! Haha.  Oh! Phoenix Banner! YAYY! That's me in BLUE!  Denise taking photo of Auntie Teo  Lastly, dear camwhoring with Rachel! -.- with my cam some more. That's all for today. haha. this person was online @ 2:42 PM I typed
Tuesday, December 02, 2008 Haha. I bet so, exco is more important anyway. So many deadlines to meet. And you will not change so fast bah. It’s like I just told you the attention span, then you forgot again. Why. Why can’t we have a time? And sit down to chat about everything? Ha… but I guess chatting will only mean me doing most of the talking. I bet so. Haha. I just want to feel protected. But where? Sigh. And I really hate putting on a strong front. I wish i could just go into your arms and cry out loud. And tell you everything. Everything has been stuffed inside me. I can't keep them anymore. But, once I start talking I'll be angry... Oh fine... Fading off… yi xiang qing yuan ba... this person was online @ 1:15 AM I typed
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 Upset. Not because of my mum or whoever. But because this particular girl who ignored me. I’ve also not ignored her for so long before. While I am doing my stuffs now, I feel so helpless. I want to chat with her, but I have already told her that I’ll not chat with her. I will not take back my words. Therefore, my heart now feels very very suffocated. I can’t tell anyone how I feel. I realize that I can’t tell anyone except her. But, I can’t chat with her. She is ignoring me. I’ve never ever felt so upset in such a quick moment. Suddenly my whole heart felt as if it sank into the deep deep deep grounds. I’ve never cried until I am so sad. And I find no motivation to do exco stuffs anymore. No motivation. My motivation is upset and ignoring me. I am so scared. I don’t want to be abandoned. Alone. I am scared. Can anyone help me? I am afraid of the meeting tomorrow. I am worried that I will lose my way. My guide and guardian seems to be slowly disappearing. Where is she? Where are YOU? this person was online @ 11:28 PM I typed
Friday, November 14, 2008 Some people are not worth to remember, some are not. I am not trying to sound mean or anything. What I am trying to say is that I treasure every one of my friends who were once close. Some prefers to keep a distance from me after a while, and I am depressed. Reasons for being so down: because I feel that this friendship has changed. We were once close, but now, we’re just hi-bye friends? Or at times, not acknowledging each other. This post, is, dedicated for my friend, whom shall be unnamed. I hope you’re reading this, my friend. ((: Well, I’ve known this friend for almost a year; since the beginning of this year. I won’t say that our friendship has been very close, but at least we hang out and go for lessons together. As you know, I am not a very outgoing person and have bad social EQ. Haha. True! So as time passes by, we were kinda separated, because of the UNIQUE Singapore educational system. RAWR. My friend seems to be very comfortable and happy with her new friends. I am glad for her. At first, we still acknowledge each other often and talk to each other. But just a few months back, I realised that we don’t say ‘Hi’ or wave anymore. I don’t know why, I thought, perhaps my friend did not see me or perhaps she just pretended to not see me. I did not take it so seriously at that time and walked off. Now, as I self reflect, I can tell you friend, I have not done much as a friend. Maybe that’s the reason why you don’t want to approach me. Yes, I do have fault in this matter. Maybe I just dunno how to treasure my friends… hmmm, I can still remember, you bought me a gift when you went for holidays. I was really thankful that you still thought of me. Before we parted into different classes, you wrote me a post card to assure me that we’ll still stay in contact often even though our workload will be heavy. You also wrote that you hope that I will not be shocked if you suddenly write a letter to me. But until now, we’ve not, for once, really sat down and talk. Even if we do sit down and talk, I will feel awkward cos there’s not much to say except for our CCA. I don’t know why I will feel awkward also. Sigh. I don’t know about you. Maybe, to you, I am not as close to you as I thought you were to me. I really hope our bond does not just stop here. I just feel very wasted if we become strangers and not wave hi or chat randomly with each other anymore. Really really hope you are reading this now. Really, I admit that I have not been doing much as a friend too. I am sorry, friend. But I can say that I have never forgotten anything you’ve done for me or did with me. ((: I also treasure this bond a lot. If not, I would not be so upset if you walk past me without saying HI. I really don’t know how you feel. Maybe you’ve forgotten me. Maybe to you, I seem very unfriendly like last time when I was said to be ‘hot and cold’ to you. I hope you can understand my character. I am not very outgoing at times. If you prefer to stay as how we’re like now, I’ll respect your decision. Because, as I’ve said, I too has not been giving my all to this friendship and I hope I can do something to ‘save’ it. Haha. (((: Now, seeing you with your friends, being happy in school, laughing, celebrating and going out with them, I am pleased to see that. Geee. Even if it is from a distance. Maybe our friendship will just end like that? Maybe it can be saved. But whatever you choose to do, I’ll respect your decision. Cos I do not want to disturb you or you friendships. Sometimes, I see you walking with your friends and talking to them so intently, I don’t dare to just walk up and surprise you. Maybe your reaction would just be nonchalant. Haha, I dunno lah. I’ll watch you from a distance and always remember the fun times we used to have. Those laughters, smiles and MY BIRTHDAY!! I’ll never forget how YOU and the rest arranged and planned for my birthday. Thanks, my friend. And, I miss you, friend. I do hope one day, we can go out again and have fun, just like how we used to do. Readers: maybe I am a sensitive person. I am actually. Perhaps, all these are just trivial matters to you. But to me, I treasure friendships a lot. Hah! I’ll not forget you easily even if you forget me. Just like one of my close friends or used-to-be-close friend in secondary school. A lot has happened; maybe our bond’s not there already, but she’ll always have a special place in my heart. Gee. ((: I miss my friends. Gosh. I am so emotional that some dudes might think I am mad. Oh wells, that’s me. Treasure your friends. ((: They’re the best gifts that God has given. Friends. Be there when you need them. Quality time with friends is important too, as quoted from my friend, Yinxue. (I miss Yinxue too) Do not take advantage on their good points like patience and tolerance, because one day they might leave you without you knowing why. Dudes! Treasure your friendships. Haha. I know you will, lalala~~~ Good-bye. Phew, I feel so much better after blogging it out. And oh! Eileen is so cool and I love her so much. Wahahahaha. XD END this person was online @ 10:46 PM I typed
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 Well this day is special because I officially own Eileen. Wahaha. Today is our first day. And eleven's dear's favourite number. Hah. so I've set today as the day. ((: love YOU always shangyu this person was online @ 11:11 PM I typed
Tuesday, November 04, 2008 and she's super nice ytd, but she's super odd too. keep laughing to herself and saying her bag's heavy and don't wanna show me or let me touch her bag. irritating. but later on i kinda guess there's something in her bag. wahahaha. she super funny can. made me so paranoid. okay. what was in her bag? tada!  this is the bag! YAYY! look at the msg. hehe.  another angle of the bag  hehe the flowers dear made for me... (((: so sweet of her. Actually she made it when i was watching Avenue Q on SUNDAY but i told her to bring in on MONDAY. I thought she forgotten lah! BLUFF me. -.- phew. hahahaha so funny. no wonder you were laughing to yourself.  and because i was sick, dear got me these sweets.  i like the NIN JIOM one better. hehe. dun like mint sweets, but this one cures my block nose. (((:  and this is doraemon with eileen's flowers!  there you go. ((:  HOW CUTE. can imagine doraemon as dear.  <3333  hehe. this person was online @ 12:59 PM I typed
Thursday, July 24, 2008 CAUTION: READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK
The story of you and people.
Today, when you and people were doing CCA stuffs, you felt really happy even though you and people were wet, hot and tired. And dirty. You didn’t mind at all. But when everything was carried up to the rooms, it was quite late. So you decided to check your phone. And yes, indeed, there were 11 missed calls. So you called your mummy and told her you were coming back soon. And then, it started raining (finally after so long). So you asked if people was going too or anybody, but they all say it’s raining, so they didn’t want to go. But you know that it should not be an excuse. So you decided to ask people if people was going, but to your disappointment (when you were already standing at the door), people said, “Huh… but it’s raining leh…” and showed no signs of moving. And you, you idiotic girl, asked people, “ Why? Why don’t people want to go?” And of course people don’t know how to answer you. And said, “Huh…?” Well, you jolly well walked off pissfully. And on the verge of bursting, and feeling nauseous.
Well, people went behind you and asked you to walk slower. And what a kind soul you are; what good attitude you have. You told people that you shall go first. (I know you didn’t say it willingly, and felt like crying). Wow, how pleasantly handled. Therefore, people and you didn’t talk through out the whole way. And you kept wondering why? Why did people not want to go… But people is so nice to you! And you still show this kind of attitude towards people, how could you??! Well, you crossed the road without saying bye to people (HOW RUDE) and walked in the rain to your bus stop. At the bus stop, you really felt very horrible and terrible and missed people so badly and like the rain, tears fell out of the already unbearable eyes. Hmmm, serve you right. (Do not, do not ever do things that you’ll regret!) and you don’t know why, you just felt very vexed and unhappy, right? You also don’t know if people’s angry or sad or what.
Sometimes, when you see people, it’s hard to know what people’s thinking, and you’ll feel very vexed but don’t know what to ask people. You are always trying to be happy around people, but everytime you see people being emo, or thinking about things, you’ll have the urge to ask about it. But most of the time when you ask about it, people will sometimes say “nothing lah”. And that disturbs you a lot, isn’t it? So you should just not ask it right? But people’s always so nice to you, and you (what do you do?) nothing! People walk you to the bus stop and you? Ever walk people to their bus stop? What is WRONG with you? WHY? Why always feel sad and emo and cry ‘cause of people? Be happy! Cheer up! People has done nothing wrong, so you should not be angry or always throw an attitude to people eh? People will get tired and sick of you eventually and just like how your old friend left you. Heartbroken eh? So, please, if you’re still humane or still have your brains up there (in your head), wake up!!! Look around and treasure your friendship with people! Don’t be like a kid man. Grow up!
I hope to see an improvement in your anger management in a few days time Jiayou Shangyu!
This is just one part of you and people. The above-mentioned story happened to a real you. Okay. “not making any sense”this person was online @ 9:27 PM I typed |